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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Middle Ages haunting us... now

(Beware: the following post contains high levels of sarcasm. And a few taboo topics. Please read with caution.)

Two years ago (or was it three? My bad memory!) I attended one of the most beautiful weddings ever: E and S's wedding.

It was a simple wedding, but don't be mislead: it oozed beauty more than any over-the-top wedding you could ever imagine. All weddings are wonderful, but I had never attended one in which emotion was so palpable.

Which should not surprise us, since this couple, before and after marriage, have always been known for their cuteness. (Even the story of how they met is beyond cute. One day, if they allow me, I will tell it.) Those two lovebirds cannot look at each other without sparkly hearts in their eyes. I've heard them call each other «My love»... and they mean it. You can actually «hear» the love when they talk to each other.

In comparison, many other married couples I know won't hesitate to demean each other out loud, or will simply ignore each other (not sure which is worst). I've heard so many negative comments said by one spouse about the other (or directly to the other) that I've stopped counting.

I was actually leafing through a book, the other day, that consists of a collection of «dirty little secrets» that readers have sent - anonymously - to the author. The result is disturbing. The proportion of those secrets that involve «not loving my wife/husband anymore, yet staying for superficial reasons» is quite high. As I was telling my neighbor, J, it's as if most marriages, nowadays, would instantly collapse if you sneezed on them.

Thinking back of E and S... to me, it seems like they could teach us a thing or two about true love and respect (and cuteness!)

The thing is, E and S are... women. Both of them.

Oh, did I see your facial expression change? You're saying love is beautiful... as long as it's between a man and a woman? Is that what I heard?

I've seen a lot of «love» between men and women. Believe me: it can be far from beautiful. Sometimes it's plain ugly. I mean, there are wonderful heterosexual couples. But to say that gay marriage would be detrimental to heterosexual marriage is...

... a joke, right?

Is it detrimental to heterosexual marriage in the same way that interracial marriage used to be detrimental to same-race marriage? Is that what you're trying to say?

Is it as threatening to society as letting women work outside the home, allowing couples to live together and have children outside of marriage, and the like? Hum. Ya. I see where you're coming from.

(It's called Narrow-Minded Land.)

Of course, one has to ponder those things. It's likely that on the very day you let gay people marry, the whole country will crumble. No question about that. Just look at Canada. We're on the verge of a civil war, nothing less.

Oh, and while we're at it, gay sex is so unnatural. Hmmm... sure. That's why so many species happily engage in same-sex... sex. (Were you even listening when you took that biology class?)

I dare anyone who's against gay marriage to go on the public place and claim the following: «I believe that certain categories of human beings don't deserve the same rights as others, and that, even if they still have the same duties and obligations.»

But seriously... why do people oppose gay marriage?

1) A strong fear of the unknown. 

2) The need for a scapegoat.

3) Some rampant hypocrisy.

Even if you dig deeper, the arguments you find don't hold very long when scrutinized. Seems like the recipe for an anti-gay marriage theory also involves a hefty dose of plain nonsense.


Let's admit it: a good deal of this opposition to same-sex marriage finds its source in the omnipresent (yet often unconscious) belief that only the relationships that make reproduction possible in a direct, straightforward way, are to be valued. (This involves sexual acts themselves - why do you think masturbation is still so taboo?)

(Speaking of taboo. I was so impressed. My friend D, going through his list of «things you should tell your kids once they're old enough», is planning to touch upon Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, God, ... and his own bisexuality. For some reason I feel like his son will grow up perfectly balanced and a little bit more open-minded than average...)

Yes, the fear of homosexuality (and of gay marriage) is at least partly inherited from the foundations of our patriarchal society: the mutually exclusive approach to gender, and the necessity to trace each new human being to his/her daddy. Incidentally, it seems like sex is only to be valued if a baby could ensue (with a clearly identified daddy involved in the process): hence the precepts of sex being «right» when it happens between a man and a woman, using the «traditional orifices and devices», and within marriage (some even go all the way to say that contraception is wrong... for the same exact reasons: sex has to produce babies. Ya. Like we so need to make more babies on this planet).

Those who feel the most threatened by homosexuality seem to not fear contradiction at all: they will sometimes claim, for example, that whatever women do together (in bed), it couldn't possibly be called sex. (Well of course: it's a well-established fact that lesbian couples do nothing else than braid each other's hair. The fact that they still reach orgasm further goes to prove how pervert they are.) (Sarcasm alert!!!)

Finally, when you examine the anti-gay discourse more closely, you soon discover that it is, almost word per word, the same discourse that was used by pro-slavery/pro-segregation groups back in the days. About this, see this video, and note that a good part of the audience barely flinches. Proof that they either agree with what is said in the beginning, or that they don't get sarcasm at all, or both... in any case, it's scary.

For more on the deep reasons why people are opposed to gay marriage:



And before you go, some food for thought. If you think you don't know anyone who's gay: chances are it's because they haven't told you. Statistically speaking, it is a fact: you do know at least a few gay people. That they haven't told you, or come out of the closet altogether, does not change anything to it. Some of those people could be close to you (closer than you think!) Some others could be teenagers or young adults looking for acceptance. Please be careful about what you say in front of them, whoever they are.


  1. Nicely written J!
    Thank you.
    The S of E and S