A year at the gym

Gym, 2013.

What best, after a post on the merits of meditation, than a post on the merits of the gym?

Mind... body... we've come full circle! Mens sana in corpore sano!

After all, the puzzle of fitness, health and well-being is not complete without some strength training. Lifting weights (or working with machines, or your own body weight) goes hand in hand with the other health/fitness/wellness inducing habits of yoga, meditation, clean nutrition, cardiovascular training and stretching/mobility work. Remove one from the equation, and you drastically lower the benefits for your health... mental and physical.

Strength training, unfortunately, too often is the poor stepchild of fitness in women. A combination of a general lack of confidence regarding strength work and a fear that it will make them bulk up scares many women away from the "weight section" at the gym, relegating them to the "cardio section".

Yet, strength work has so many benefits (including the fact that it protects your bones and joints... and liberates you from having to ask a guy whenever you need to lift something heavy!) that you should not hesitate a second before incorporating it to your schedule. As for the "bulking up phobia", it's unfounded: unless they take questionable "supplements" and/or work out 8 hours a day, women do not become huge from strength training. They become ripped, with "nice cuts". That's very different.

When you look at pictures of strong women, remember they are taking the pose that makes their muscles the most apparent (not to mention all the prep they go through before a show, to make everything pop out!) In the "normal" poses and postures of daily life, very few women look like the Incredible Hulk!

As for me, I genuinely enjoy strength work for its own sake. I have done a lot of it in the past year, having just completed twelve months of personal training at the gym. I already loved to work out there, but felt I needed a little help. Other than finally managing to run a half-marathon pain free and generally increasing both my strength and mobility, I have also witnessed changes for the better in the way I look.

My personal trainer (A), excited, told me it was time to take "after" pictures! So we did.

On that same week we took the pictures, a fellow blogger that I admire (she can bench press 160 lb), Marion at http://affectionforfitness.blogspot.ca/, promised to post some pictures of herself at the gym. A few other bloggers I know already do (for example, Jody at http://truth2beingfit.com/2013/03/26/thigh-gap-obsession---not-again.aspx) and I can say it's inspiring.

So I figured I could do it too, at least once...

Now, I have to admit I am not totally comfortable with posting gym/muscle pictures of myself. It feels vain. Show-off. Superficial. (Funny thing is that I don't feel that way when others post pictures of themselves at the gym! Guess we're always harsher on ourselves!)

It might have to do with the fact that some twenty years ago, a girl once told me I was a "body worshiper". The cult of the body was certainly not something I wanted to become central to my life - it sounded way too shallow - so from then on I was very careful with that topic.

Many years later, and after spending a total of about three years and a half either pregnant or nursing, my body was not what it had been, unfortunately. But surprise! I discovered that once you've been overweight, you're allowed to boast about your looks when they improve.

At some point, however, the improvement can stall. You can hit a frustrating plateau. This is why, after long deliberations, I finally decided to hire a personal trainer, A, in April of 2012. I was hoping she would help me 1) get rid of the recurring injuries that kept me from running a half-marathon 2) get rid of the couple of pounds I still had on thanks to the joys of maternity.

What I've gained during those 12 months was much more than nicer looks. I FEEL fantastic. My body is at my beck and call. Whatever I ask from it, it does it without a flinch. No more pain and aches, no more "out-of-breathness". I have energy, and not just physical. Mental, too. I feel like I can conquer the world.

The rest, my external appearance, is just the cherry on top.

This week I had my last session with A. I thought if there was ever a good time to post gym pictures of myself, it would be now! So here I am, proud to weigh exactly what I used to weigh before I had kids, probably stronger, and definitely in the best overall shape of my life - my recent half-marathon is proof!

(Please be indulgent on the facial expressions as it's hard to keep smiling naturally when holding weights/poses for a while!)

Upper body - Front
This one was taken at home as a joke
for those who told me I had big shoulders 
in my "normal", relaxed pose!

Upper body - Back
Too much stamina makes a picture blurry!

Lower body
You can't see the cuts in the quads all that well...
Should I dehydrate myself and try again?!?

The whole package
(What's with the pi**ed off face anyways?!?)
Just don't mess with that girl, okay?
Unless you want to know
what a kettlebell sandwich tastes like.
In any case, I'm ready to play in a Kill Bill sequel!

Let those pictures be my commitment to you, readers, that I will keep up the good work on my own, now that the personal training is over. (I feel like a little bird who's just been kicked out of the nest; I know I can fly, but I'm still afraid to fall!)

What physical accomplishments are you proud of, and what is your next goal?

When all else fails... meditate

Paris, 2012.

When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence - that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality. This is always exhilarating and sublime. Henry David Thoreau, Walden.

A little bit over seven years ago, baby A was born, a beautiful, healthy little girl who would add even more joy to our family, already blessed by the arrival of R, two years earlier. I was the happiest woman on earth.

Rewind. Erase.

I was not the happiest woman on earth. In fact, as much as it pains me to say, I was probably experiencing one of the lowest times of my life.

It had nothing to do with sweet A and even sweeter R, of course. They were doing their best (which is not much when you're respectively a few weeks old and two and a half years old). To be honest, they were adorable. 

It did, however, have to do with the constant pressures of early motherhood.

For one thing, I was sleep-deprived and exhausted. "They" make me laugh when "they" blame postpartum depression on some hormonal imbalance. Try sleeping 4 hours a night and spending the other 20 hours a day listening to strident screams, dealing with diaper overflows, and enduring sore, engorged breasts (when it's not cracked and bleeding nipples! Just the thought of it makes my toes curl!) Not to mention a mirror reflection that is a pale (and usually fat and discheveled) picture of the woman you used to be. Who wouldn't feel depressed at some point?

Add to the "newborn package" another "sweet" child, this one at the height of her "terrible-twos", and what you get is a 5-letter word: chaos.

A rare moment of respite for mommy:
A is sleeping, R is "reading", both under the vigilant eye of our friend F.

I am not writing this to whine about motherhood, which is the best present I was ever offered, but rather to - hopefully - help other mothers feel less guilty and overwhelmed. Early motherhood is not glamorous, and it's incredibly demanding! I certainly did not make it any easier on myself by being a perfectionist freak, either.

In any case, the place I was seven years ago was not a good one, despite all my blessings. I could feel I was making my way down a dangerous spiral, both physically and psychologically. I had to do something about it.

My friend K had told me about her incredible yoga instructor, L. I figured I had nothing to lose, and registered for a series of classes.

Getting out of the house by myself for the first time in ages was not easy, but once I was sitting in the car, crazy fantasies invaded my thoughts: the little devil on my shoulder was telling me to hop on the highway and drive, and drive, and drive, all night long, then all day long... never to come back!

Scotland, 2005.

Of course I wouldn't have lasted more than a few hours. Sooner or later I would have started to miss the kids. Either that or my boobs would have started to leak with milk (I've always had enough to feed triplets).

So instead I went to my first yoga class.

This was a real yoga class. Not the kind you get in gyms, yoga that "flows" so fast between one pose to the next you feel like you're white water rafting more than listening to a peaceful stream. 

L's yoga class was the kind where you are asked to first ground yourself, and where you are reminded of staying grounded during the whole practice. You just cannot ignore your internal state. 

L had us stand up straight but relaxed, head up but shoulders down, and feet well planted on the floor. She brought to our attention the earth beneath us and the sky over us (despite the fact that we were indoors). She had us focus on every nut and bolt of our body, in a compassionate, nonjudgemental way. We were only there to notice, not to evaluate, she said. 

Then we started focusing on our breathing. Did you ever really focus on your breathing? It's incredibly powerful.

Five minutes into the class we were still standing still with our eyes closed, and from the outside it would have seemed like nothing was going on, but inside of me was a cascade of sensations and emotions that had been ignored for too long. Everything I had been successful at repressing came to the surface. Physical discomforts, of course, but mostly psychological discomforts. The ugly truth splashed all around like a giant beach ball held under water for too long: I was a complete mess. The dam I had built for myself was dismantled: I started crying. (Silently, so as not to distract fellow yogis.) I felt overwhelmed and relieved at the same time.

The rest of the hour is blurry in my memory. I only remember the last pose, which is fine based on what L always told us: the corpse pose (savasana) is the most important one in yoga. In fact, according to L, the yoga practice in its entirety serves the purpose of preparing you for a good  savasana. Or meditation. With L our yoga practice ended with either one or the other.

When I drove back home, that night, I felt both exhausted and rejuvenated.

Fleuve St-Laurent, Quebec.

Within a few weeks, I realized that L was right when she said: "Without making any conscious modifications to your life, if you practice yoga and meditate regularly, changes are going to happen for the better. You will naturally start making good, healthy choices."

It was true. Yoga and meditation have a way of bringing everything to our awareness, but in a serene, accepting way. It helps us make the right decisions, whether they pertain to the physical or psychological sphere.

In fact, research has shown time and again that meditation in particular will help in the many following ways:

• Less information overload, stress and fear
• More serenity, peace of mind and happiness
• Better decision making
• More harmonious relationships
• Improved well-being and overall health

Meditation has been shown to have benefits in many common (and sometimes serious) health problems when used as a complement to traditional medical treatment. (Of course, a traditional approach, be it medical treatment or psychotherapy, according to your specific concern, should remain a priority.)

The greatest news about meditation is that the benefits persist after the meditation session is over. (Some even go all the way to say that if a critical percentage of the population meditates, the whole population will benefit! I'll let you do your own research on this.)

It truly is a panacea!

Yoga and meditation, however, elude many people. I've had at least two friends tell me that the pace of yoga was too slow, that it was too silent, and that they only felt like giggling and running around in circles. I understand that feeling. I've been there. The mindful practice of yoga and meditation forces us to slow down to a point where it feels uncomfortable to most of us "rat-racers". It also demands/creates an awareness that we might not be used to deal with. The reason why meditation is not the same as watching TV or napping is that it puts you in a state of relaxed vigilance. Even the brain "behaves" differently during meditation, with an increase of slow alpha or theta wave EEG activity.

Fleuve Saint-Laurent, Quebec.

Of course, meditation, like any other new "activity", has to be practiced for a while before you get the full benefits. One has to first get used to this increased awareness, and one must learn to accept what comes out of it with detachment. At first, it's not the best feeling. We're not used to hearing the sound of our own soul (and, according to some, the sound of the whole cosmos!)

According to Roger Thomson, the reason so many people do not meditate is "because it puts us in the middle of ourselves, which is not always where we want to be. Often, we want to fix things rather than accept them the way they are. Many of us feel as though we can't afford the time and energy to meditate, when in fact we can't afford not to."

What we need to remember when we talk about yoga and meditation is that mindful does not mean explicited or verbalized or intellectualized. Mindful means being present in the moment, a sort of detached vigilance. You pause and notice. The physical feelings. The mental thoughts.You don't judge. You simply notice. Then you let it drift away, like a cloud in the sky.

If you do that often enough, the rewards are endless. You might even experience bliss!

Tall Ship in Halifax.

Have you ever tried yoga and/or meditation? How does it make you feel? What's your favorite way and your favorite place to meditate? Sitting? Walking? Indoors? Outdoors? Do you have any issue in your life right now that could be helped by some mindful practice and increased awareness? Anything you want to add that I might have forgotten?



For more on the benefits of meditation


Psychology Today (various articles):

http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/meditation

Mayo Clinic: Meditation: A Simple, Fast Way to Reduce Stress:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meditation/HQ01070

Huffington Post: Meditation Health Benefits: What the Practice does to Your Body:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/30/meditation-health-benefits_n_3178731.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

Science Daily: Brain Waves and Meditation:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100319210631.htm

Wikipedia: Research on Meditation:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Research_on_meditation

And this nice blog, on yoga and meditation:

http://yogadork.com/

Paklenica, Croatia, 2002.

The road to Marathon is paved with race shirts and bibs

Bluenose Marathon!

I really didn't want to use a sexual analogy for this, but it's just too tempting: today, I lost my half-marathon virginity. It hurt a little bit, but for the most part, I enjoyed it.

While I was running it I came up with the perfect race equation:

Good time + Good times = Good race

The line between pushing yourself (to get a finish time you're proud of) and enjoying yourself (isn't it one of the reasons we do this?) is a fine line, but when you find that sweet spot, you get a good race, both challenging AND pleasant. This is the kind of race I had today.

I appreciated it even more because of all the obstacles I've met during that journey to my first half-marathon.

It took me a long time to get to a half. On my way to that distance I accumulated numerous race shirts and bibs.

It started with a 5 K, 4 years ago. My first race ever. I had used the Couch to 5 K running program, which is perfect for a non-runner. It builds very gradually, and very conservatively. At first, you walk more than you run... and that's perfect!

When I ran that 5 K during the Bluenose weekend, I discovered a whole new world, the world of races! The energy of the crowd, the music, the supporters on the side of the road holding motivational signs and shouting words of encouragement... I loved it!

First 5 K

Slowly, I moved on to 10 K races. I was confident that I would make my way to half-marathons and eventually marathons, but that's when problems started arising: as soon as I ran more than 12 or 13 km, injuries of all sorts would appear. They confined me to a frustrating plateau. I shaved 5 minutes from my 10 K PB, then another 5 minutes, which put me under the 1-hour mark (not bad for an asthmatic!), but the mythical half still eluded me! I was growing more and more frustrated.

In the meantime, I had gotten in shape, and lost the remainder of my pregnancy weight, so it wasn't a failure per se, but I really wanted to run at least a half-marathon, at least once in my life!

It was only when I met the best physio in town (sorry! He's now moved out west!) and the best trainer in town (I can refer you to her if you want!) that I finally got out of the vicious circle of running injuries. With them, I worked hard, but the payoff was invaluable: I could now run distances that had always put my hips and knees out of order. The half-marathon was shining at the end of the tunnel!

A few months ago, a group of women from my neighborhood, all thirty-ish or forty-ish mothers of young children, decided to train for a half; I happily joined in! We created a group on Facebook (The Road Runners), and we shared a common training plan. Week after week we encouraged each other and shared our pains and successes.

Never underestimate support from your kids; they can be the best coach!
R talking to me before a 10 K

It's not easy to fit running into the busy schedule of a working mom, but we Road Runners did! We got up early, we faced the harsh Canadian weather, but we did not lose focus.

Not a small feat. It takes forever to get ready for a 5 am run in the Canadian winter:

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Finally!
My aunt M, who is not a runner, asked me, upon seeing this picture:
Are you on your way to rob a bank? 

I have to mention that most of the women in our group benefited for the unswerving support of a partner who never complained about their repeated absences, dedicatedly looking after the household so that we, the runners, could train with complete peace of mind!

D-Day

This morning, I woke up naturally around 5:30 (the time K and I usually run), ready to get up and go, with this ubiquitous running song on my mind:

I knew I still had an hour before my planned wake up time, so I managed to get back to sleep. When I woke up again at 6:30, this other song was playing in my head:

I took it as good omen! I got dressed, had my oatmeal with raisins and pumpkin seeds (perfect pre-race meal in my experience!), packed everything I needed, and took a few minutes to roll my piriformis and IT band. Then K arrived to pick me up.

Interestingly enough, I wasn't even nervous (unusual to say the least!), and as the starting time approached, that did not change. I felt pretty calm and serene about my upcoming first half-marathon. Maybe the fact that I was slowly succumbing to hypothermia contributed to that apathy (it was really cold in Halifax this morning!) Just before we started running, K and I hugged each other, said "Good luck" (and "I love you" for good measure; after training together for months, I think we can safely say we love each other!)

The sun slowly came up and became warmer as we ran; the weather was almost perfect (there was a little bit of an annoying wind, but what do you expect when you run so close to the ocean!) I saw most of my friends from the Road Runners group at one point or another, which was very encouraging. (In the end most of us finished within 2 minutes of each other! Talk about group homogeneity!)

On such a long run you truly need some support. Especially toward the end, when your legs start to give, and the saying "Mind over matter" takes all its meaning. At one point I was literally talking to my feet! When there's no matter left, the mind has to take over completely. A few high-fives (especially when given by children) and inspiring signs definitely made a difference!

My favorite signs were obviously the ones D had made with the kids, and that they held at kilometer 10, then 20:

"No cape, still a superhero" and "My arms are tired"

I saw other daddies and kiddies that I know (my running friend's), and I got a little emotional over the fact that those wonderful supporters have enabled us, the women, to give ourselves the gift of fitness and pride, and to become by the same token an example for the children.

The best reward comes when the kids decide they want to run too!
A and R at their first race.

(I also had my emotional moment witnessing a grandfather and his grandson running the kid's race - 4.2 km - together yesterday; the boy had a t-shirt that said: "You're never too young to exercise. Look! My grandpa is running with me")

I can only reiterate: running is NOT a lonely activity!

The other signs I particularly liked, and that came with perfect timing, toward the end of the race when I basically wanted to sit down and cry (okay, it wasn't that bad) were the following:

"You can do it! Trust your training"

"In 4 km the water changes into wine"

And of course the 3 most beautiful words in the world:

"No more hills"

Speaking of good timing, the song that started playing on my iPod about 500 m from the finish line was this one:

The first person I saw after crossing the finish line was my dear friend K. We hugged again, and said "I love you" again. (This time I blame the runners' high!)

I think this running tale goes to show that even if you're out of shape, busy, and/or a mother, there's always hope. You can become fit and strong. You can get your body to work for you instead of against you. Your body can do things you never dreamed possible! I hope this post inspires you to challenge yourself and become healthy. I hope you feel that you are worth embracing the Olympics spirit: citius, altius, fortius: faster, higher, stronger.

The feeling is indescribable!

Any athletic challenges and successes and goals you want to share with us today?

Such a feeling!

There's no such thing as too much blue

Blue skies of Halifax.

It was so much fun writing a post about green that I decided to go on to the next best color in nature... blue.

Plus, blue being a soothing color, I'm hoping it will calm my nerves from the excitement of tomorrow's race!

I will not even bother you, readers, with long text today. Rather, I will simply share some photos I have taken over the years that have blue as the main protagonist. Read the caption for more info on the where, when and why.

First job, as a lifeguard. It does not get much better than spending your days watching a lake from the vantage point of a lifeguard chair.
We also took turns at patrolling in a kayak.
Ah! those were the good times! Quebec, 1993-1994.

The love of water has now been transmitted to my progeny.
Crete, Greece, 2012.

Water can indeed be playful. Here, Theodore II. Halifax.

More of Halifax harbor. Taken from aboard tall ship Silva.

The Tall Ship event might be one of my favorite
"interesting picture taking" opportunity! Here's one.

And another one.

All those ships shouldn't make us forget another means of transportation that's closely related to blue, namely, the airplane!

One of my favorite places to take pictures of the blue skies meeting the blue seas: Peggy's Cove, NS.

Again, Peggy's Cove. This place never fails to take my breath away. And it's only about 30 minutes from home!

The quintessential place to take "blue pictures" is Greece,
of course. Here, Santorini.

Santorini again! The caldera. 

The island of Crete (Greece also) is not bad either!

Another view of the fortress. Crete, Greece.

Gazing further away. Crete, Greece.

Really, a blue backdrop never hurts. Athens, Greece.

Back to colder climates...
If it wasn't for blue, what color would we have in the winter?
Nova Scotia.

But my favorite blue of all must be the blue of those eyes.
R, a few years ago.

I must have had a premonition that R's eyes would stay blue, because when she was a newborn, and hospitalized for prematurity, the song I sang to her over and over again was all about blue eyes (and the strength of my love):

If you like French songs, try those other ones, all about the ocean:

Charles Trenet - La Mer

Jacques Brel - Une Île

Serge Lama - Les Vagues de la mer

Michel Rivard - Je voudrais voir la mer

What's your favorite hue of blue? Have you ever lied down on the grass and watched the clouds drift away? Do you feel hypnotized by the ocean, just like I do?

There's no such thing as too much green (with pics and videos!)

Halifax Public Gardens

I don't know for you, but one of my favorite things about spring is the RETURN OF GREEN!

The budding leaves, the growing grass, and the great smells that now abound.

We are lucky enough to live in the middle of a forest, so the sights and smells and sounds of nature are omnipresent on a daily basis.

One of the things I noticed when I was in New York, last summer, was the lack of those natural sights, smells and sounds. There's Central Park, of course, but it's a minority who can afford to live close by, and it's still a human-made green area!

When I lived in Montreal (until 2007), that's one of the things I missed the most, having access to the wild on a daily basis. From a cultural (and multicultural) point of view, Montreal is a wonderful city, and it does have a few oasis of greenery (e.g. Mont Royal, Jardin Botanique, Parc Maisonneuve). Those are beautiful spots I visited on a regular basis, but I still had to take the car (or public transport, or a long walk), and it just wasn't the same as having the woods in your backyard.

The downside of living in the woods is the absolute lack of " civilized amenities" (like stores and restaurants) within walking distance, and the occasional threatening wildlife, but if I had to choose again I would pick the woods in a heartbeat. I can always go to town whenever I feel like it, but when night comes I retreat to my peaceful (and silent) home in the forest, where the skies are truly dark at night (perfect for star gazing!)

I used to think greenery was boring. My mom is a nature-lover and she certainly tried to share that passion with us. It eventually worked, but it took time. I remember complaining, as we were crossing Vermont on our way to South Carolina: "Trees, trees, and more trees! So much green! I'm booooored!"

I don't feel this way anymore. There is something magic about being surrounded by nature. Where I live now, if I step out in only a few steps I'm in the woods. I have my secret place where I go when I feel overwhelmed. I sit on a fallen tree and everywhere I look it's all green. I forget about my troubles, making one with Gaia for a moment.

We also have a trail and a lake and a brook within walking distance, soothing places we go as often as we can.

The trail

The lake

The brook

Those are our local green oasis, but even when away from home, I'm always on the lookout for some green.

Kejimkujik National Park, Nova Scotia

Annapolis Royal Historic Gardens, Nova Scotia

Mont Megantic, Quebec

Overseas travelling is no different. Whether we're visiting the countryside or residing in the capitals, we always manage to find "the green spot". Some examples (photos all mine):

Austria - Alps, 2009.

China - Beijing, 2010.

Croatia - Plitvice Lakes National Park, 2002.

England - Bath, 1999.

Greece - Acropolis, 1999.

Greece - Lykavittos Hill, 2012.

Greece - Knossos, 1999.

Closer view of an olive tree - Greece, 2012.

Italy - Positano, 1999.

Scotland - Isle of Skye, 2005.

It's green too! Scotland, 2005.

Switzerland - Alps, 1999.

Really, one must admit that greenery makes beautiful pictures! Especially if you add a lovely subject:

Quebec, 2010.

Greece, 2012.

Apart from the green, there are so many wonderful sounds in the woods these days, I couldn't refrain from sharing some with you!

1) In this one you can hear the thrush. Walks in the woods don't go without a certain level of adventure (or misadventure): I ate some spiderweb in the making of this video, and if you listen well, you'll hear a faint laugh after the camera vibrates... I had just fallen in a mud hole!

2) Another piece of woods in our backyard... and again, the thrush.

Do you have a green place you like to retreat to? What are your fondest memories of communion with nature? What's your favorite picture in this post?

And don't forget to eat your greens!!!

Yum.