|Frida Kahlo, self-portrait|
You think your deep values reflect who you are.
Are you sure?
How many unwritten rules do you follow without even realizing it?
How many things do you do a certain way because it's how people like you (of your gender, ethnicity, age, religion) are "supposed to" do them?
How many of your values have you inherited from your family and/or social group without ever questioning them?
How many of your behaviors arise from from a need that you haven't acknowledged?
How many of your needs and wants and hopes are really YOUR needs and wants and hopes?
Are you sure you are going in the right direction?
Are you acting or merely reacting?
Are you acting in a way that fits your OWN core values and objectives?
Then why are you buying things and then regretting it?
Then why are you eating/drinking/consuming things when you know you shouldn't?
Then why don't you like your job?
Then why do you maintain relationships that make you unhappy?
Then why do you say yes when you mean no?
Then why do you hurt others?
Then why do you hurt YOURSELF?
Then why do you feel that frustration, or that void, or that impression of being incomplete?
Then why are you unhappy, stressed, scared, or angry?
And why do you want to make changes in your life yet rarely manage to?
Throughout your life you have made (and will make) choices based on your needs, values and goals. But are those really YOUR needs, values and goals?
And when you are acting according to those needs, values and goals, is it really true that you can achieve anything you want when you put your mind to it... as our Western society wants us to believe... or do you face innumerable obstacles?
And finally: if status (socio-economic, for example) and what other people think had no importance to you, no importance at all... would you live the life you are living right now? Would you act the way you act? Would you talk the way you talk? Would you make the choices you're making?
I am currently reading Status Anxiety, by Alain de Botton. It is a book I highly recommend.
This excerpt made me pause and think:
"We may feel envy [...] over a condition or possession that would in fact make us unhappy if we secured it. Likewise, we may experience ambitions unconnected to our real needs. Left to their own devices, our emotions are just as apt to push us towards indulgence, uncontrolled anger and self-destruction as they are towards health and virtue."
Whatever makes you pause and think in this post... please write it in the comments below!