Mindfulness - Meditation

Moyan Brenn, Flickr

"In practicing meditation, we're not trying to live up 

to some kind of ideal - quite the opposite. 

We're just being with our experience, whatever it is."

(Pema Chodron)

Practicing mindfulness, welcoming awareness, slowing down, finding stillness... all prepare you for the practice of meditation.

Imagine a simple, free habit that brings about clarity, focus, lowered levels of stress, and an improved physical health - those are all proven benefits of meditation. 

Meditation is only one letter away from medication and in some cases, it has at least as much power, minus the side effects.

Meditation is a tool that makes it possible, or at least easier, to be in the moment, centered, grounded, which in turn helps you feel and tackle life with more lucidity and serenity. 

Meditation is almost magical in that it allows you to experience a rare luxury, the pause between two thoughts (usually referred to as "the gap"). For most of us with minds working overtime, this constitutes a welcome break.

All that with the bonus of the occasional "epiphany" or blissful moment.

More importantly, meditation is accessible to all.

Contrary to what Madeleine Somerville thinks, meditation is not akin to "sleeping upright". In the beginning, especially, meditating can actually feel like a lot of work. Sitting still, allowing sensations to arise and welcoming them without any judgement, letting your thoughts drift instead of holding on to them, isn't something we are used to do. It's uncomfortable.

The body resists: you feel tense, restless, itchy. You readjust your position many times.

The mind resists: no matter how much you try to just "let them drift away", your thoughts come back circling over your head, insistent, discursive. You might also feel drowsy, which can be another way for your mind to resist the peaceful alertness of meditation.

It takes time. Getting the most out of meditation is similar to getting the most out of a healthy diet or an active lifestyle: it requires dedication and consistency. 

Eventually, the discomfort diminishes and makes way for the wonderful benefits of meditation. 

The daily recommendation for beginners is to meditate for twenty minutes. You might dislike the idea that "nothing gets done" during those twenty minutes or so. But I think that a lot gets done during the time spent in stillness. I even like to say that everything gets done during meditation, since it sets the tone for the rest of your day.

Will you try it?


Mindfulness this Week

This week, you could sit for a few minutes every day, close your eyes, and see what happens.

For more on meditation, click here.  

Be part of the process: 

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Mindfulness - Stillness

h.koppdelaney, Flickr

"If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, 
live in the moment, live in the breath." 

(Amit Ray)

Did you slow something down this week? I hope you were able to give yourself the gift of a more reasonable pace. As we slow down our movements, the hamster wheel in our head also tends to slow down. That allows a growing awareness to come to the surface, which in turn helps us make better decisions: 

1. We finish one thing before moving on to the next (in our actions but also in thought), which brings about better results and lower stress levels
2. We feel a simple need before it becomes overwhelming, and fulfill it right away: thirst, hunger, fatigue, and even the need to use the washroom
3. We notice that we are feeling tense, uneasy, and that it translates into our mood (irritable), body posture (furrowed eyebrows, clenched jaws or fists, raised shoulders), and breath (shallow and fast) - we regain power over those manifestations of stress, the next step being the recognition and tackling of what caused that stress (A thought? An event? The presence of a person?)
4. We realize that we need a break before things get worse: we go to bed earlier instead of carrying exhaustion from one day to the next; we apply ice to an injury before inflammation sets in; we tackle a budding migraine immediately; we allow ourselves a moment to reflect on a stressful situation
5. We avoid conflict by being present to the real issues at play instead of reacting impulsively and "taking things personal": we know it's not always "about us", but rather about an unfulfilled need or a discomfort that belongs to our interlocutor - seeing things from that angle helps us keep our calm

The magic thing about slowing down is that it eventually leads to the ability to experience stillness. That stillness itself doesn't have to last very long. What matters more than its duration is the quality of that stillness. Here are some examples:

1. We can pause during a conversation and really listen to what others are saying instead of planning our next response
2. We can pause during a meal and really savour what we're eating
3. We can pause when interacting with nature and appreciate its beauty - it can be as simple as the song of a bird as you step outside, the colors in the sky, the smell of a flower, or even a ray of light coming into the house - nature is right outside the window but we often ignore it
4. We can pause while music plays, and give it our full attention
5. We can pause during a hug and feel our "heart melt"
6. We can pause during a stretch to feel how good it is for our muscles
7. We can simply pause for a few deep breaths

Even a short pause, if it is made of true stillness, is often enough to "reset" our mind and body. Will you try it this week?


Mindfulness this Week

This week, find moments to take a real pause and be still, even if it was only for a minute or two. If you give yourself that gift, I am certain that you will feel the difference. Then share about your discoveries!

Be part of the process: 

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Mindfulness - Slow Down

smlp, Flickr

"One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress." 
(Viggo Mortensen)

We have been paying more attention to our lives, and noticing our internal state as well as the external circumstances, whenever possible. We have made interesting discoveries (go back to the previous posts for some examples, both in the text and in the comments). 

Despite those efforts to apply a mindful attitude to our daily life, I am willing to bet that in most circumstances, most of us are still operating on auto-pilot. We are oblivious to many of our own feelings and sensations. We react more than we act, based on past experiences, habitual patterns, and assumptions about what constitutes the right way to live our life. If we stay on this path, no significant progress can be made. We will continue to feel tense, frustrated, inadequate, guilty.

Time to deepen our awareness.

But why "waste our time on awareness", some will think, when there are more urgent matters to take care of? Our lives are unsatisfactory (and, for many, rather hectic). We don't want to use our precious time for reflection. We want results. It's understandable.

The truth is, no real awareness, and thus no true change, is possible without first slowing down. It's hard to see clearly when your mind and body are rushing. A while ago, I had this conversation with D: 

Me: I feel like I'm running all the time, without making any progress
D: You must be running in the wrong direction

Those sage words left me pensive. Running in the wrong direction sounds like a deplorable waste of time and energy, doesn't it? I have a feeling it is precisely what most of us are doing. But how can we really tell unless we first slow down?

I will admit that slowing down is hard, especially in a society like ours. Being busy and/or rushed is worn like a badge of honor. Don't we feel somewhat suspicious of people who don't have much to do? Don't we look down on them? Even if it was out of envy?

Add to that the speed technology has gotten us used to (the speed at which images change on TV and in movies, the speed at which we access information and each other), and it's no wonder our minds and bodies feel so frantic. I have stopped counting the number of friends and family members who have told me that "yoga is too slow" for them, let alone meditation. I don't think it's an idiosyncrasy; I think it's a reflection of our society's hasty pace. It takes time to get used to go slow.

"But I don't have time to slow down", many will say. I get that. Believe me, I do. I work full-time on top of trying to kick start my freelance writing business and training for races; I have two kids, three pets, a house and a big yard. If you asked me how often I feel on top of things, I would reply without hesitation: "never". But I have also noticed that rushing made no significant difference. Worse, it sometimes creates additional problems.

Driving fast, for example, will save you one or two minutes at best, but will raise your stress level and put you more at risk for accidents. The same applies to most daily activities: eating fast, talking fast, brushing your teeth fast... it doesn't really give you more time, but more importantly, it's stressful for your mind and body. What happens when you rush all day? Eventually, you collapse. You collapse on your couch each night, bag of chips in hand, and mindlessly surf the channels until bed time. You collapse mentally and can't focus at work or can't handle daily stresses (e.g. your kids drive you crazy). A burnout is around the corner. You collapse physically and get ill. 

Here's my long-distance runner piece of advice: pace yourself so you can last. When you slow down, you don't accomplish less. In fact, you may very well accomplish more; by doing things at a realistic pace and paying attention to what's going on, you don't get to the exhausted state (mentally, physically), which in turn means that you don't need to "compensate" with your usual addictions, whatever they are (eating, drinking, smoking, shopping, gaming, etc.)

In addition, most things benefit from being done slower:

• eat slower, drink slower (so you know when you're full)
• talk slower (so you have time to think it over; also, listen more)
• read slower (so that ideas make their way to your mind)
• walk slower (so you notice the beauty around you)
• make love slower (so you enjoy it better)
• etc.

If speed was what matters the most, we wouldn't take the time to sip on coffee. We would pop a caffeine pill and go on with our day. 

How does this apply to other aspects of your life?

Mindfulness this Week

This week, do something slower. It doesn't matter what it is. Pick something and systematically do it slower, with more awareness. Tell us how it felt!

Be part of the process: 

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