Mindfulness - Pain

Caja de la china, Flickr 

"We are not on this earth to accumulate victories, or trophies, or experiences, 

or even to avoid failures, but to be whittled and sandpapered down 

until what's left is who we truly are." 

Ariana Huffington

Disclaimer: This blog in no way replaces medical and psychological advice or treatment. If you experience suicidal thoughts, seek professional help immediately.


Have you ever felt unbearable pain? Chances are you have, even if your life has been exempt of unusually dreadful events (e.g. torture, a war, a genocide). 


Physical pain

For one thing, some medical conditions or events, which may not be that uncommon, can put one into a state of intense pain. Examples include kidney stones, shingles, migraine/cluster headache, nerve pain, severe burns, and giving birth. 

The type (and intensity) of pain triggered by those conditions or events is hard to imagine for the neophyte, but nonetheless very real. Cluster headache, for example, has nothing in common with "just a headache" that a tall glass of water, some acetaminophen, and a walk outside would take care of: 

"It's nicknamed the suicide headache because patients have suicidal thoughts to get away from the pain. My patients have told me that it makes them want to bang their heads against a wall or take a drill to their head." (Sean Mackey, pain medicine specialist)



Psychological pain

Some mental health issues, such as the rather widespread anxiety and depression, can feel unbearable to the point of suicidal thoughts (notice a trend?). I know a chronically depressed person who told me that to her, "life will always be a struggle", and who needs antidepressants to manage getting out of bed in the morning. Another friend once wrote that every single morning, he deliberately chooses between putting a gun or a toothbrush in his mouth. 

But more commonplace events can send one down the abyss of despair just as well. The loss of a person you loved, whether they were a family member, a friend or a lover, and whether they were taken away by death or simply chose to walk out of your life, is one flagrant example. The feelings that arise from such events are almost unbearable, at least temporarily. 

The truth is, some emotions can generate just as much pain as physical injuries, and one might be willing to do just about anything to get rid of that pain. As Christina Huffington aptly put it: "Giving up drugs is easy compared to dealing with the emotions drugs protected you from." Obnoxious emotions often have a physiological component, too, and anyone who has ever experienced anxiety (or any type of intense fear), depression (or any type of profound sadness) could attest: knot in the stomach or in the throat, nausea, etc.


Here and now

What's common to those causes of unbearable pain is that they force you to be in the moment, in some cruel manifestation of imposed mindfulness. When in pain there is no past and no future. You are in the here and now with the pain, although you would much rather be anywhere else (sometimes even dead).


What to do about pain

The main problem with pain is not its existence, but our reaction to it. Here are some of the right things to do in the face of pain:

• Obtain proper treatment (when applicable): That could be the right medication or the right therapy - just don't assume you have to endure the pain. It took me years to find proper treatment for my migraines but boy am I glad I did not relent in my search.
• Although this may sound contradictory, acknowledge the pain: Obtaining proper treatment is not the same as numbing the pain or distracting yourself from it with a harmful habit. Simultaneous to - adequate, supervised - treatment should be a quest to understand where the pain is coming from, the factors involved. Mindfulness may help identify the triggers and some solutions so that the pain happens less, or less intensely, in the future. Meanwhile, if you feel like crying, do so (oftentimes crying qualifies as part of the treatment).
• Breathe: When all else fails, going back to the breath is sure to help - even slightly. There's a reason women in labor are encouraged to breathe in a certain way. Conscious breathing can help release anxiety, stress, and physical pain. It's not a panacea, but it helps.
• Take care of someone else: In between bouts of intense pain, thinking and caring about someone else's needs can be a relief - especially if they are in pain too.
• Give it some time: This too shall pass.

Finding meaning to pain

No offense to Kelly Clarkson, what doesn't kill doesn't always make you stronger. Intense, debilitating pain, especially when it's recurrent, takes its toll on you (physically and mentally). 

Trying to find meaning to pain is a grand metaphysical endeavor, and in my opinion mostly a coping mechanism. If we're going to suffer that much, can we at least understand why?

Unfortunately (or fortunately), there is no rhyme or reason to pain. Life does not follow any logic in how it distributes suffering. You might make all the right choices and still end up in a lot of pain, or make mistake after mistake and be spared for the most part. How unfair! But how lifelike.

Notwithstanding Judeo-Christianity, I will never consider pain a plus in my life - pain sucks, and the least is the better. However, as a longtime migraine sufferer, I couldn't help but notice that in the absence of head pain, I feel absolutely fantastic. Light. Free. Blissful. I am not sure I would experience normality so intensely if frequent, debilitating pain was not part of my life.

Pain is also a great teacher. Experiencing intense emotional pain after falling for (and getting dumped by) the wrong person? It has taught me to not become attached to the wrong people. To listen to my instinct, always keeping my antennas out. If something feels odd or off, I don't pursue it, or at least I remain slightly detached emotionally. I protect myself.

That being said, I would rather not have to experience intense pain, and when it's there I cannot wait for it to go away. I cope by reminding myself that 

This too shall pass.

Mindfulness this Week

How do you cope with pain?
What has pain taught you?

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Mindfulness - Was William Shakespeare a Buddhist?

Marilyn Roxie, Flickr

Guest post by Shawn McKim

Mindfulness is a way of communicating.

I must come across as someone who either a) is mindful or b) is mindless. 

Either way, it would do me good to think about thinking, and then write about it.

So here I am, thinking about thinking. Actually, I’m procrastinating. But

I’m thinking about it. Does that count? Can mindfulness be an exercise in

stream-of-consciousness? Can it be a journal-style entry? Are there ever

any rules for writing about such a topic?

I thought about creating a character and revealing this character through

a monologue. The monologue would in turn reveal what the character was

thinking, since that is a monologue's primary function. But if you think

about it, it would really be about what I was thinking, since I created

the character and wrote every single word the character said/thought. This

had me thinking even deeper. Is Shakespeare all of his characters? Most of

them have monologues, which reveal their true intentions. Most of them

have deep thoughts that they would never admit to other characters. The

device becomes useful when the audience needs to know something about a

character that the playwright isn’t ready to reveal through action.

Shakespeare’s characters’ thoughts are really only his in part. I say this

because his characters represent all kinds of realms of the human psyche.

They represent greed, loneliness, jealousy, anger, love, passion, sanity,

and insanity, among other things. Is Shakespeare all of those things? Of

course he is. But not at the same time. That would be confusing. Like all

of us, Shakespeare suffered from the human condition, so therefore he

wrote about the human condition. And since this human condition is all

about feeling different things for different reasons; feeling confused;

feeling unbalanced... writing about it helps us make sense of it - both to

ourselves and to others.

So maybe that’s why I’m writing about this stuff. I’m suffering from the

human condition. I am everything and nothing at the same time. I am trying to make sense of everything and nothing by writing about it. I choose the

topic of mindfulness because it is bringing my thoughts to the forefront.

I am forced to deal with them straight on. There is no hiding whilst

writing. Naturally, my head turns to soliloquies, monologues, and

speeches. The literary way to express one’s feelings and thoughts. And who

wrote some of the most famous soliloquies? Shakespeare.

Upon my initial research, I am finding that most of Shakespeare’s famous

speeches involve the topic of mindfulness. Sometimes it isn't obvious but

sometimes it is. For example, in Macbeth the title character finds out his

wife has committed suicide. In response, he says to himself:

She should have died hereafter;

There would have been a time for such a word.

—To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing.

Macbeth is thinking about life. But Shakespeare is thinking 

about thinking about life. I try to remind myself that these characters are not real. They are creations by an author. A real person. A real, thinking, feeling,

writing person, not unlike myself. Macbeth is just one of many extensions

of Shakespeare’s psyche. He has to be. Otherwise, where did these words

come from? In order for Macbeth to compare life to a walking shadow or a

frustrated actor, he would have to feel this way himself; at least

sometimes. Is Shakespeare always frustrated and concerned about life?

Perhaps not. Does he really feel like there is no use for anything? Maybe

sometimes. But not all the time, because Romeo was full of life and love

and hope:

Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,

Having some business, do entreat her eyes

To twinkle in their spheres till they return.

What if her eyes were there, they in her head?

The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,

As daylight doth a lamp. Her eyes in heaven

Would through the airy region stream so bright

That birds would sing and think it were not night.

See how she leans her cheek upon her hand

O that I were a glove upon that hand,

That I might touch that cheek!

Romeo barely knows this girl and yet he has fallen deeply in love. He is

comparing her eyes to the stars and is, for all intents and purposes, in

heaven just by looking at them.

Is this not Shakespeare as well? Remembering what it was like to fall in

love for the first time? How could he be both Macbeth and Romeo? They are

so conflicting in their worldviews. So conflicting in their attitudes.

Easy. Shakespeare, like all of us, is all kinds of things. He is greedy,

lonely, jealous, angry, loving, passionate, sane, and insane. It’s his job

to write about these feelings for his audience is all of us, and we are

all of these things as well.

Mindfulness is a way of communicating. Perhaps not in the traditional

sense of speaking aloud to another person. Conveying a message is not

always that simple or empirical. It can be as complex and deep as a

character in a play, soliloquizing about anything, everything, and

nothing, all at the same time.

Mindfulness this Week

If you would like to submit a piece on your mindfulness thoughts and processes, please address it to mleuxj at gmail dot com.

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