The Less is More Project: Week 47 - Home stretch

Steven Depolo, Flickr

One month until Christmas, and less than six weeks to the New Year. The American Thanksgiving and Black Friday constitute "shopping season kickoff": retailers typically earn a generous portion of their yearly income right before and during the holidays. Meanwhile, simple consumers like you and I dish out an equally generous amount of money from their pockets - or, more precisely, from lending entities (credit card debt, anyone?).

On top of the expenses incurred, many factors contribute to our heightened levels of stress in times when we should either be celebrating, reflecting on the year that's ending, or preparing the one to come.

We are stressed because we want the house to feel, look, smell and sound warm and welcoming for family and friends. But who has time to clean and decorate? 

We are stressed because we want to put special foods and drinks on the table. But what if we don't enjoy cooking and baking? 

We are stressed because we want to find the perfect present for that someone special (or those "someones specials", in many cases). But why are some people so hard to please? (And what about those who "already have everything"?)

We are stressed because we want to look good for the holidays. But shopping for clothes is exhausting, and good hairstylists aren't cheap. 

We are stressed because of all the other season-specific obligations, be they work or family related.

Wasn't this supposed to be the season to be jolly? 

Or was this intended to mean a "jolly ole bag of nerves"? Because if so, we are being remarkable at it.

It doesn't have to be that way. This year, I am delighted to have been invited to contribute to Bethany Rosselit's initiative, the Simplify the Season calendar. Along with other, bigger names such as Adyashanti, Seth Godin, and Tara Brach, I wrote a piece on how to "Simplify the Season". 

To receive the calendar (which will entitle you to all the Simplify the Season articles), you simply have to subscribe via this link, after which you will receive one post per day during the holiday season (beginning this Friday). Bethany has set the price at the pocket change amount of $2. If you were to chose to donate more, the entirety (100%) of the proceeds will be forwarded to an entrepreneur in a third-world country (more details to come on onlinelifecoaching.info). Because 'tis the season for sharing, isn't it?

Bethany Rosselit, onlinelifecoaching.info

WEEK 47 IN REVIEW

I set foot in a shopping mall! Christmas is coming, and the children will receive presents this year as any other year. To simplify the shopping, we asked them to make a list, and to review the first draft to come up with the items they really, really want. 

Then we put said list through the "four gift rule", and decided to get them: 

1. Something they want (a toy/game of their choice - right now they are obsessed with Lego)
2. Something they need (new, good quality mitts for the harsh Canadian winter to come, for example)
3. Something to wear (they grow so fast that it won't be a luxury)
4. Something to read (easy, since they both put specific books on their lists)

And then some chocolate, because Christmas is not Christmas without chocolate.

Whereas between us adults, instead of gifts we will offer each other some quality time: going out to a restaurant or to see a play, for example (but hush! the details are a secret!)

Your turn to share about your struggles and victories of the week! What did you resist? Did you donate or get rid of anything? Did you face any challenge? Please comment below! And...

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The Less is More Project: Week 24 - The elephant in the room

digitalART2, Flickr

I have been wanting to tackle this topic for a few weeks now, but I kept postponing. Why? Let's be honest, procrastination usually stems from some form of dread.

I have been dreading this topic because once I write about it, there is no going back: I will be accountable to the readers of the blog, some of which are close friends and family who can easily monitor whether I am doing the right thing or not.

This is scary, but it is also necessary. Being accountable is one of the best ways to implement change in one's life.

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know that mindfulness is central to my approach to life in general, and to this Less is More project in particular. More than a way to declutter and save money, this project has been a way to refocus, recenter, redefine my priorities, simplify my life, and generally feel better.

All in all, decluttering my house and curbing my spending has been relatively easy. I adopted a more mindful approach toward stuff in the same way that I had adopted a mindful approach toward my physical health (through exercising and healthy eating), and in the same way that I had adopted a mindful approach toward my mental health (through relationships, work-life balance and meditation). (For more on those topics, browse the blog by using the Search tool on the right-hand side.)

Many wonderful things happen when you become mindful: your life looks like the life you want to have. You feel content. Satisfied. Fulfilled. Enthusiastic. Energetic. Peaceful. Truly, mindfulness is a panacea. Some things, however, are easier to be mindful about than others. We all have an elephant in the room. 

Mine is my Internet use.

It all started very nicely: the Internet is a wonderful way to keep up with current events (especially when you very rarely watch TV, like me), to read everything on the topics you are passionate about, and to stay in touch with friends. In addition, the Internet offers very convenient tools such as interactive maps, dictionaries, and various apps. Obviously, I also use the Internet for work: email is my primary way of networking and communicating with my - numerous - clients on a daily basis. Most of my work resources are online as well. I have also used the Internet to find inspiration and to publish my writing (for example, see here, here... and of course, this blog).

Because the Internet is so central to many positive things in my life, it has been hard to draw the line between reasonable use and excessive use. Just like overeating, and unlike, say, smoking, overusing the Internet poses the extra challenge that you cannot completely eliminate it from your life. Using the Internet might not be a "basic need" like eating, some people (including me) still rely on it for the major part of their income. Even when I am not online per se, I am typing away on the computer for work-related purposes. Stepping away from it, in my case, would signify the end of a big chunk of my translating/editing/writing career. It's not an option.

So. Internet has to stay. The problem is, I often find myself overdoing the online presence. I will go check my email or write a blog post... and end up wasting an extra hour reading all kinds of articles (which I then "have to" repost on social media, of course). Most things I read are "intelligent" and help me learn and grow. Sometimes, they are humoristic and entertaining; hey, we all need to unwind and have fun. Still, that time spent in front of the screen is time I don't have for other things.

I know I am not the only one struggling with my use of technology. This is partly why I decided to share my thoughts today. Many of us are addicted to one form of technology or another. In a lot of cases, what should have been used as a tool has become a crutch or even a drug. If you or anybody you know spends hours on end watching TV, have a hard time putting down their phone or cannot imagine life without video games... we are on the same boat: technology addicted. We have been swallowed by the black hole. As of today I want to extirpate myself from it - or at least regain my control over it.

Being mindful does not mean everything will suddenly improve drastically. Knowing you eat or drink too much, for example, is only the first step toward improvement. But it is a necessary step. Over the next few weeks I will be making conscious efforts to limit my use of the Internet. I know I will experience both success and setbacks. But what matters is that I am setting this in motion.

What is YOUR elephant in the room?

WEEK 24 IN REVIEW


Donations (good riddance)

Have you ever really addressed the small things in your house? Pens, paper clips, nails and screws, small utensils and tools, lip balm tubs, earrings and the like might not take a lot of space, they do create clutter. How do you organize yours? And how many do you really need?

I am slowly getting rid of anything belonging to the "small things" category that I don't really use or like. You should give it a try!


Observations and cogitations

The weather has been (and will be, judging by the forecast) glorious. It reminds me, once more, that simple things such as sunlight, wind in the trees, bird songs, colorful flowers and the scent of fresh cut grass or pine trees are enough to fill me with joy. Why do we even bother looking past those wonders? Why do we fail to notice those wonders in the first place?



Your turn to share about your struggles and victories of the week! What did you resist? Did you donate or get rid of anything? Did you face any challenge? Please comment below! And...

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The Less is More project: Week 10 - The happiest time of your life

Stop and smell the oleander - JSM, 2012

If I asked you the following question:

"What was the happiest time of your life?"

... what would you respond?

...

And if you had to come up with two or three different periods of your life that made you the happiest?

...

Now what if I suggested you take a few of those "happy periods", and examine them closely to try and figure out what they had in common? 

...

What you will come up with likely constitutes the key to your happiness. No matter what your life has become now, and the underlying reasons for it, there is something to be learned from the common characteristics of your happy times.

Namely: 

"What should I try and instill to my current life in order to maximize my well-being?"

Here's my example.


Happiest times of my life:

1. The 3 years I lived in Senegal (Western Africa) as a child
2. The summers spent working as a lifeguard/canoe-kayak instructor in my late teens
3. Studying for my Master's - the first year (my father passed away during the second)
4. Going on wilderness camping trips
5. Traveling with my family as a child, then traveling alone, with friends or with my own family now that I have kids

What do those "happy times" have in common? 

When I stopped to think about it, I made some interesting findings:


Those were all times when very little emphasis was put on the material sphere: whether it was a) living in Sub-Saharan Africa of the 1980s, b) working at a summer camp by a lake deep in the woods, c) camping in a National Park or d) living the "poor" student life...

... those situations all offered very few opportunities for shopping and indulging materialistically.

As for traveling, no matter if you do it "in style" or on a shoe string (I have done both), it usually implies living with less: the contents of your suitcase or backpack are all you have. I, for example, took a 65-liter backpack - sleeping bag included - for a 3-month trip all over Europe, and I try to fit everything I need in a carry-on whenever I travel for a week or less. (My friends have - kindly - made fun of me for traveling light.)

Therefore, the common denominator seems to be a simple life involving few possessions.

Even more interesting, I realized that whenever I stepped away from the material sphere, it was either the cause or the consequence of focusing instead on other, more fulfilling things; indeed, all of the situations above involved:

• Less time spent inside, more time spent outside (either in nature or walking my way through cities)
• (Partly arising from the above): More physical activity
• Deep, meaningful connections with people (whether you are "taking the time" with your family members/friends or meeting new people with common interests and values)
• A slower pace of life (with time to talk, read, write, listen to music, contemplate, meditate)

In my current situation (living "in the woods" in a province that has a total population under a million), I notice that the above criteria are at least partly met... as long as I remain vigilant. 


Your turn to "do the exercise". What were your happiest times? What did they have in common? Can you try and implement some of those things in your current life in order to increase your well-being?




WEEK 10 IN REVIEW


Temptations

Finishing a workout at the gym, I knew I had another thirty minutes or so before I had to go pick-up my daughter at her play date (They went snowshoeing. How cool!) I really didn't want to exercise anymore, having already done a full hour of strength training, a half-hour of cardio and about ten minutes of stretching. The gym being located in a commercial neighborhood, I felt tempted, for a moment, to pass the time by doing a little bit of shopping. This is something I would have done without a thought in the past (i.e. before this project), whether I actually needed to buy something or not.

Of course, the Less is More project kept me on track: instead of going shopping, I found an empty group activity room at the gym, rolled a mat, sat on it, and meditated. Needless to say, the benefits of a meditation session far outweigh the benefits of a shopping outing.

Donations (good riddance)

This weekend we rearranged some furniture in the children's bedrooms. While we were at it, I asked them to hand me any toy or item of clothing that they have not used recently and are not planning on using again. D and I also got rid of a few clothes. 

We then tackled the "reading nook". This is a small room with a large window on the second level, above the entrance, that I had envisioned as a yoga/meditation room when we moved in. Soon enough, however, it was invaded by bookshelves, a desk, a chair, and some toys. This weekend, R, who is in Grade 5 and getting an increasing amount of homework, "inherited" the desk and chair. The toys are gone. The nook is empty again. Hello, yoga/meditation spot!


Observations

We went to the Museum of Natural History. Apart from dinosaurs (the current temporary exhibit), we also learned about the Aboriginal and the Acadians' past way of life. The simplicity of it all was a great reminder that we need very little: a shelter, food and water, some clothing, feeling safe and connected to others. Everything else is a luxury. Medical discoveries and technology have simplified our lives in some ways, and have made them less "painful"... but it is nice to be reminded of the basics.


Cogitations

The fact that I considered shopping (see above) just because I had a little bit of time on my hands says a lot about our careless approach to consuming: Bored? Early for an appointment? In need for a little pick-me-up? Go shopping! 

Errr... no thank you.

Later on, I was talking to another mom, T, who remarked that her kids rarely wear (or need) the back to school clothes she buys every year. We buy back-to-school clothes for the sake of it, she said. Another mindless habit, for sure. We will both ditch it this coming fall (unless there is a real need, of course).

What did you resist this week? Did you donate or get rid of anything? Did you face any challenge? Please comment below! And...

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The Less is More project: Week 7 - Your biggest investment

JulieSaintMleux, 2012

After I mentioned the cleaning chores I had accomplished on a certain housebound day (winter storm number 259!), along with the time it had taken me, my friend S remarked: "you do have a big house".

Funny... I don't think I have a big house. Granted, it's not small, but it certainly does not qualify as a McMansion. 

Upon verification, our house is around or slightly above the US national average and median in terms of total square footage. According to the American Enterprise Institute, in 2013, the average size of new houses was 2679 square feet, whereas the median was 2491 square feet. The United States Census Bureau gives numbers a touch smaller for 2010: an average of 2392 square feet and a median of 2169 square feet for single-family houses. (As some of you know, we live in Canada, where the numbers seem to be inferior, a 200 square feet difference or so.)

For an interesting comparison, the site Shrinkthatfootprint has put together the numbers for other countries (based on 2009; the numbers might be higher now):

Honk Kong: 484 ft2
UK: 818 ft2
Canada: 1948 ft2
US: 2164 ft2
Australia: 2303 ft2

The interesting thing about those numbers - the North American ones anyway - is that they have increased significantly over the past decades. Houses have been getting bigger. I assume my house's size is "just right" for a family of four, but truth is, we do not need all that space. Before we bought the property, we lived in an apartment that was significantly smaller. We did fine. The kids have grown, but we could still live in the same apartment, even if I would probably miss, although only temporarily, the 2 full bathrooms we have right now, as well as the formal dining room (currently used as my home office). (We also have a third toilet in a powder room that really we don't need - how often do 3 different people have to use the bathroom at the same time?) As for the storage (right now I benefit from generous closets, including a walk-in almost big enough to be used as a nursery), you suddenly don't need as much when you cut down on stuff. The only real issue would probably be the following: where to store 4 bikes and all the camping equipment? 

If you currently have small living quarters, how do you make it work? I'm specifically interested in knowing where you store your sports/outdoor equipment.

So. "Big" houses are nice. And what's wrong with them if you can afford them? The question is: what does it mean, exactly, to be able to "afford" a big house?

Let's say you would like to work less. Or do something else that you are passionate about, but pays less. Or maybe you would love to travel more. Yet you don't, because "there are bills to pay". The biggest of which are most likely house related: mortgage payments, insurance, maintenance, heating, electricity. You are stuck working more than you want and/or in a job you don't really like in order to pay for that house. Feeling resentful yet? 

Big houses usually come with land as well. We opted for countryside/forest living, and have close to 2 acres (or 75 000 square feet) of greenery around the house. Surely I appreciate it: tons of space for the kids to play, for the dog to run around, for us to make a big garden. Unfortunately, big spaces also mean lots of work: just mowing the lawn or shoveling the driveway is a Herculean task here. Luckily a good part of our property is wooded, which requires very little work. Still, all that maintenance - house and yard - takes time and/or money (depending on whether you do it yourself or hire someone).

All that time and money, you don't have it for other things. There are days in the summer when I have to pick between weeding the flowerbeds and going to the beach. Frustrating. I know it's the ultimate "first world problem", but why can't I have a nice front yard AND a nice relaxing day with family and friends?

If you are lucky enough to have the time and/or money for a big house, take a moment to think about your environmental footprint: is your choice of property kind to the Earth?

Even if we don't need to move (we still made a reasonable choice with that house), some days, I do wonder: would we be better off (and would Mother Nature thank us) with a smaller property? I know it's a dangerous thought: I might like it a little bit too much, become addicted to the sense of freedom and simplicity, keep downsizing, and end up in a tiny house (nothing wrong with that, you might say). I thrive when we go camping, and our camping style is rather minimal: a tent, some basic gear, no water/electricity/electronics. No car access either, meaning we have to carry everything on our backs. I love that way of life. (My only questioning is whether I would take to it 12 months a year - it does get pretty cold around here.) 

I have dreamed of moving into a "treehouse with a view" or even a sailboat. What's so special about those kinds of places? Mark Boyle, author of The Moneyless Man - A Year of Freeconomic Living, has experienced the joys of living in a smaller, closer to nature dwelling: 


"My favorite times were when it rained heavily. I'd listen to the rain crashing on the roof with a real appreciation for the shelter that was keeping me dry and protected [...] Such gratitude increases as you get closer to nature and the things that you use; the more degrees of separation you have, the less you appreciate them." 


This is exactly what I like about camping. And so I have a feeling that if we moved to something smaller, I would quickly embrace it. Despite all that, there is something about living where we live that is hard to renounce... what is it called? Oh yeah, I got it: it's called status.

To be honest, I don't even know if status is something that bothers me all that much - but I can't come up with any other reason why moving into a smaller house would be problematic - unless we have to leave the neighborhood... and what I like most about the neighborhood is not the status, but rather the close-knit community, the peaceful atmosphere, the nature that surrounds us.

Any thoughts?

WEEK 7 IN REVIEW

Temptations 

Once again, I had to go to the pharmacy for one small purchase (medication for a family member), but almost got sucked into buying more. Did you notice how big most pharmacies have become? If you wanted to, you could probably do half of your groceries and buy half of your clothes there! That on top of acquiring cosmetics, candy, toys, books, school/office supplies, decorative items, gadgets, etc.  

Donations

This week I tackled my hutch. I filled 3 boxes with various plates, glasses, bowls and vases I haven't used since we moved here in 2007. (Don't worry mom, I still have the one vase you told me to keep!) 

This wasn't as easy as one would think. As I cleaned the shelves, I was tempted to simply move the things around. When I got to the shot glasses, I thought "What if I want to do shots with friends?" (D doesn't drink). Then it occurred to me that I don't remember the last time I had shots with friends (other than one random time in a bar 2 years ago). We are grown-ups. We drink wine. Okay, and beer. But shots? I don't need those glasses.

Come to think of it, there are very few things that you should keep in your kitchen if you don't use them at least on a weekly basis. One exception is the fondue set (we love fondue in this family). Other than that... toss it!

Good news: I found the screwdriver I had been looking for! (Please don't ask me what it was doing in the hutch.)

Observations

The Less is More spirit also applies to the projects we take on, and in my case, one of them is reading. When I go to the library, I take too many books, and then have to rush reading them all before they are due back (they cannot be renewed when somebody else places a hold on them). I need to get into the habit of taking only 1 or 2 books at a time.

Cogitations  

Just because you can afford something is not a good enough reason to buy it. I cleaned my pharmacy this week. I keep all medications in a high cupboard in the kitchen (the bathroom is not a good place as it gets too hot and damp), but it's been kind of messy, and I though that a small, inexpensive basket would help me keep all the little bottles organized. Problem is, I am on the Less is More project, and not supposed to buy anything. All my baskets are already put to good use. What to do? Well, I was inventive. I found a rather sturdy and empty shoe box, cut the top off, and filled it. Who cares if it doesn't look pretty. It's gonna be inside a cupboard! And now I can say that I did a good deed for the environment: reused something that was perfectly fine instead of acquiring something new.

What did you resist this week? Did you donate or get rid of anything? How did that make you feel? Please comment below! And...

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