Mindfulness: Aids to meditation

The things we notice when we pay attention. Julie Saint-Mleux, 2015

"You don't learn to sail in stormy seas. You go to a secluded place, not to avoid the world, but to avoid distractions until you build your strength and you can deal with anything. You don't box Muhammad Ali on day one." - Matthieu Ricard

If you're anything like me (and the average meditator), you will encounter obstacles on the path to making meditation a habit in your life. Meditation is not complicated in itself, but its simplicity can be precisely what makes it so difficult. Meditation implies being here and now, without giving in to external or internal distractions. It's hard. Especially in our fast-paced, hyper-stimulating world.

I have been meditating trying to meditate daily for almost six months now, and there are still days when I struggle. I love to sit still and alone in a quiet spot, but my mind does not always join in the stillness - thoughts go in all directions with no intent to quiet down. My other issue, and I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it, is that I tend to fall asleep a lot when I meditate. It could be a sign that I am not well rested, though I do usually sleep eight hours, or it could be a sign that my body and mind are not used to stillness enough yet - they interpret my immobility and regular breathing as an invitation to sleep. 

Luckily, there are many strategies to help your mind focus or to prevent it from drifting away (including to sleep). I've listed them below:

1) Tire yourself out before you start meditating. Ending a demanding yoga session with meditation can work wonders. I also find that I meditate ''better'' after working out and stretching;

2) Create a rhythmic movement such as walking, running, cycling, rowing, or even sitting in a rocking chair;

3) Engage your sense of sight: look at a flower, at a lit candle, at a campfire;

4) Engage your sense of hearing: sit by the ocean (in a quiet spot as crowds can be distracting) and let the waves rock you into meditation, or sit in the woods listening to the birds. You can also listen to soothing music, or even try chanting mantras;

5) Engage your sense of smell: aromatherapy can help as long as you don't have any adverse reaction to the scent;

6) Engage your sense of taste: eating very slowly, paying all attention to the sensation in your mouth, can be a meditative experience;

7) Last but not least, and probably the most accessible technique, focus on the breath.

Learning to meditate can be quite a steep learning curve, but I remind myself that ''bad'' meditation is still meditation. Sometimes it's only once it's done that you realize the actual realm of its benefits. 

Eventually, meditation will sneak up on you: more and more, I find myself in a meditative state when it wasn't even planned. At random moments, I seem to land into a state of combined calm and alertness that improves my interactions with people, my work, my respect for my own physical and emotional needs. 

Sometimes, what I notice isn't pleasant in itself: For example, I realize that being around certain individuals is draining. I realize that I have muscular tension or other types of discomforts. I realize that I am tired. Sad. Anxious. Noticing those things isn't particularly positive, but it does help me take the necessary steps to well-being. 

Sometimes I notice neutral things, such as my heartbeat. It is neither negative nor positive, but it is strangely comforting.


Sometimes, I notice positive things, such as peacefulness, warmth, lightness, joy, all those things that were probably there all along but only became perceptible once I paid attention. 

Mindfulness this Week

What specific challenges and strategies have you experienced in your meditation?

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Mindfulness - Feeling alive, in the body and in the mind

enneafive, Flickr

Spring is finally showing some timid signs of a comeback in Canada, and many of us are feeling alive again.

It would be tempting to call it spring fever, but really, the way I personally feel is closer to waking up after a long night of sleep. I don't know if I'm particularly excited, or simply aware of my surroundings after a long hiatus. I feel like opening my eyes, stretching, looking around, noticing what is going on.


It's in the little things: 

• Hearing the birds in the morning, and the peepers at night. In the winter, unless you are walking on crisp snow on a very cold day, everything is so overwhelmingly silent.
• Smelling the leaves, the grass, the budding flowers. In the winter, unless you walk by a house heated with a wood stove, the absence of smell is striking.
• Seeing in color again, thanks to the different shades of green and, gradually, other hues as the flowers begin to bloom. In the winter, need I mention, everything is white.
• Feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, and allowing the breeze to play with my hair. In the winter we are so covered that nothing gets to us (apart from an unpleasant dampness that chills us to the bone. Or when the wind does manage to get to our skin, it pinches, bites, and burns it's so cold).

It's nothing short of a reawakening of the body, and it has more impact than one could imagine. 

One of the first things I noticed when I "officially" decided to be more mindful was a new relationship with my body. Paying attention in general had the almost immediate effect of making me reconnect with physical sensations that I had been ignoring or downplaying. This had wider implications. At first I mostly noticed the unpleasant stuff - ranging from a diffuse feeling of fatigue, tension or heaviness all the way to specific and precisely located discomforts, aches and pains of varied intensities. One of my first "epiphanies" was that migraine affects me more than I ever allowed myself to admit. On the "lighter" side, I started making clear connections between the way I felt and my posture, my eating habits, my physical activity level, my reaction to stress, how much I had slept, etc. I adjusted my lifestyle to limit the negative outcomes, and to foster physical well-being.

Gradually, this new awareness started encompassing the good sides of the physical experience as well. I noticed pleasant sensations more. The softness of my bed sheets. The warmth of my sweater. The taste of my food. The colors in the sky. If my toes were in the sand, they felt "happy". It was as if all fives senses had gained acuity (and a renewed enjoyment of simple pleasures). 

I realized that one of the quickest paths to mindfulness might be to start with the body. Indeed, meditation neophytes are often encouraged to do a "body scan". I now believe that a lot of my initial encounters with a meditative-like state happened while I was stretching after my workouts. Of all moments that make up a day, the 15 minutes I devote to stretching might be the time when I am most "awake", focused on how I feel in the moment, attentive to my breath, taking the time, completely oblivious to anything that came before or that will come after. 

As my physical awareness increased, so did my overall "presence". I can "sense" things as they happen, and avoid acting or reacting in an autopilot manner: 

• Faced with a stressful situation, I will spontaneously take a deep breath, center myself, and realize that no action or reaction is actually required on my part at the precise moment. Or that my reaction can be very low-key, subtle, peaceful. (This is particularly true during interactions with "demanding" individuals.)
• Faced with a pleasant situation, I will also spontaneously take a deep breath, center myself, and realize that no action or reaction is actually required on my part at the precise moment. Or that my reaction can be to simply take it all in, instead of rushing to the next thing.

This has made life easier to handle AND more enjoyable.

Mindfulness this Week

What is your relationship with your body, and how does it impact the rest of your life?

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Mindfulness - The over thinking trap

markheybo, Flickr

“I swear to you, sirs, that excessive consciousness is a disease - a genuine, absolute disease.” (Fyodor Dostoevsky)

Have you ever been accused of "thinking too much?" Many years ago, I was (it might have happened more than once). I found it insulting. To me, thinking a lot has always been the sign of a healthy, active intellect. Thinking a lot means that you are developing important skills such as problem solving and critical thinking, and that you are - hopefully - becoming clear-sighted.

Is it the same as mindfulness?

Mindfulness invites us to be actively attentive, present, conscious, aware. In addition, mindfulness implies the absence of judgment: our feelings and our thoughts are to be observed, not judged, as they are neither good nor bad - they simply are. But even without judging what goes through our mind (instead accepting it "as is"), we can feel tempted to dissect, examine, scrutinize. It can be useful, too. So how do we know when to stop?

This is something I have been struggling with, as I do not quite know where to draw the line between paying attention and actually over analyzing things. Being aware is great; thinking until exhaustion, not so much. Meditation, in particular, is described as the tool we use to overcome discursive thinking. But what about focused, logical thinking? Is it to be avoided?

What I have come to realize (with the help of mindful meditation) is that thinking is like working out: doing it regularly is a good idea, but taking regular breaks is just as critical. Just like over training is bad for the body, over thinking is bad for the mind. As Herbert Benson would say: you need to "give your mind a rest from [...] mental onslaughts or loops of thinking".

Indeed, after a bout of thinking, our mind needs a rest. That is particularly true for reflections that address profound, disturbing, or potentially life-changing issues. Thinking about those is draining. Do analyze the situation, but also let it simmer. A thought won't get lost if it is an important one. You might not have found all the answers yet, you still need a break from thinking. Know when you've had too much. Recognize the thoughts that are swirling, becoming obsessive, turning into anxiety. Give your thinking a rest.

For more on the practice of not-thinking, click here.

Mindfulness this Week

Do you ever find yourself over thinking? 
How does it feel? 
How do you deal with it?

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Mindfulness - The calendar method

DafneCholet, Flickr

When this mindfulness project started, some 10 weeks ago, I didn't quite know where it would take me, but I knew I had to make it concrete. Mindfulness can be quite the abstract concept, but I wanted my quest to be anything but abstract. Apart from the regular practice of meditation, I felt that I needed something tangible, some kind of "tool" to keep track of my progress in the field of mindfulness.

I was looking for something simple, effortless, not time-consuming. 

I looked at my calendar - the traditional, paper version of it. 

And I began thinking of the things I would like to keep track of.

There were mostly two: my physical state, and my mental state.

So on January first, I began putting the "daily face" on my calendar. At the end of each day, I would draw a simple emoji: A smiley face meant my mood had been mostly good, a neutral face meant my mood had been okay, and a frowning face meant my mood had been mostly negative (e.g. significantly sad, agitated, or irritable).

To account for my physical well or ill-being, I used a color code: Green meant no physical discomfort, blue meant moderate physical discomfort (e.g. soreness, headaches, digestive issues and the like), and red meant significant illness - red would mean, for example, that I had to take a full day off. (Knock on wood, no such day yet, even if migraine has forced me to change some plans.) 

Out of curiosity, I also kept track of the days I did meditate, of whether or not I had exercised, and where I was in my menstrual cycle. On my "not so good days", I added some additional information such as the weather, any particular stressful events, and whether or not I had certain foods which I had been suspicious about.

I am still writing on my calendar daily. All in all, this new habit only takes up a few minutes every day, and that time is very well-invested: After one month, I was already making interesting discoveries. After two, I could see trends emerge. Now well into the third month, I can almost anticipate some of the patterns. 

Using the "calendar method" allowed me to discover (or to confirm) the factors that influence my physical and emotional well-being. It was great news in two very different ways:

Factors I have control over: By knowing precisely what is good and not so good for my levels of well-being, I can tweak things, and trust that I will feel better. I am taking responsibility. This is empowering.

(Depending on your profile and specific issues, examples might include the impact of exercise, water intake, meditation, sleep, screen time, social interactions, etc. on your well-being, as well as food-related sensitivities and other reactions to your environment. In all those cases, if you can do something about the causes, you might as well take the bull by the horns to ensure your optimal well-being.)

Factors I have no control over: By knowing that some external, uncontrollable factors also have an impact on my well-being, I am less taken by surprise, and in turn, less frustrated - I accept the situation with more serenity instead of fighting it (or worse, self-loathing). I cut myself some necessary slack. This comes with a new respect for some of my vulnerabilities.

(Depending on your profile and specific issues, examples might include weather-related flare-ups, PMS and other hormonal symptoms, as well as feeling tense or down after a rough day. If you can do nothing about the causes, you might as well face the consequences with a zen attitude.)

It has only been ten weeks, but it already qualifies as an eye-opening journey, and I cannot wait to make new discoveries!

Mindfulness this Week

Have you noticed any trends by paying attention to your well-being and by focusing on the possible causes? What are you doing about it?

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Mindfulness - Making good habits

Dafne Cholet, Flickr

Getting rid of bad habits is important, but making new ones is just as critical. 

First, because you can't simply let go of a bad habit without replacing it with another, better one: facing the void is too hard, especially when the reason the bad habit exists in the first place is to cover some deep dissatisfaction. Personal anecdote: A dietitian I once consulted for advice on how to stop eating my emotions (I would go for sweets whenever I felt tired, stressed or bored) recommended that I find another pleasant activity to engage in, ideally an activity that would prevent me from eating sweets, such as going for a brisk walk, talking to a friend, or taking a bubble bath. 

Second, because good habits are the number one step toward structuring our life in a way that enables us to live according to our values, and reach our goals. Forget about your bad habits: the only way you will build a life that makes you feel good about yourself is by adopting good habits.

The thing is, implementing (and maintaining) good habits is hard. That's because it takes us out of our comfort zone... but I think it is also because we look at them from the wrong angle: we see good habits as things we "should" do... if only we were a "good" person. I have a different take on them: good habits are the things that ultimately make you feel good, physically and mentally. Therefore, good habits are a gift we give ourselves. NOT some sort of painful coercion.

Of course, going from theory to practice takes some time - and a lot of mindfulness. We need to reconnect with how we really feel. We - erroneously - tend to think that our bad habits are what makes us feel good: after all, spending, eating, drinking and the like tend to give us a "high" which we tend to confuse with actual happiness. Paying attention and being honest with ourselves is the only way to rediscover the true source of well-being. (No, bingeing on beer or chocolate cake is NOT it.)

We also need to take baby steps. It will be difficult, but the beautiful thing about good habits is that they generalize to other good habits: for example, my first yoga instructor used to say that when she started meditating, she automatically started eating healthier, even if she had not consciously planned to. I believe this is true for many good habits. (Smokers who start running have an easier time letting go of smoking.) I personally still tend to gravitate toward sweets when I am tired or dehydrated... so I make sure to sleep enough and to drink water throughout the day - those two good habits help me resist a bad one.

Which takes us to some of the good habits you might want to start forming. (I recommend starting with one, and only adding additional good habits one at a time, when the previous one is more or less "mastered".)


You could make it a habit to:

• Go to bed earlier
• Wake up half an hour earlier in order to squeeze in some exercise or some meditation (both wonderful ways to start a day, they energize AND make you peaceful at the same time)
• Eat a tall glass of water as soon as you get up, and carry a water bottle with you all day
• Include actual fruit with each breakfast (better than juice)
• Carry a healthy snack with you for sudden cravings
• Make sure both lunch and supper include a big portion of vegetables
• Walk or bike whenever possible (as opposed to taking the car)
• Do simple body weight exercises and stretches while you watch TV (if you watch TV)
• Do a quiet activity before bedtime, such as reading a book, writing a gratitude journal, or taking a bath

Whether I "feel like it" or not, I know for a fact that whenever I include those good habits in my daily life, I feel much better. Even if the rest of the day doesn't go quite according to plan, I know that I did at least a few things right, and I feel more motivated to make other right choices.

What new habit do you feel like making?


Mindfulness this Week


I will look at my daily schedule and see if I can tweak a few things in order to include more of the "right choices". I will NOT focus on my bad choices. I will trust that by implementing good habits, the bad ones will slowly fade away.

Tell us what you come up with.

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Mindfulness - Getting rid of bad habits

Schnappischnap, Flickr

Bad habits. We form them, we maintain them, we curse them. They make our life miserable yet we fail at getting rid of them.

Very few of us could claim to have complete control over what they put in their mouth or what they do with their time, energy and money. Outside, stronger-than-us forces seem to be at play. This is not without consequences for our health, well-being and overall enjoyment of life.

There is a whole market based on helping people get rid of their bad habits. Or, more aptly put, there is a whole market based on making money out of people's dissatisfaction with their bad habits. Most of us are desperately looking for a way to get our life back on track, and most of us are willing to open our wallet in the process, whether we purchase goods or services that offer the promise of a better life. Nutritional supplements, kitchen equipment, storage systems, various accessories, training equipment, programs... they seem to hold the way to our individual holy grail, so we succumb and, over a lifetime, pour hundreds or thousands of dollars into them. Look around yourself and at your credit card statement... most likely you will see things that you purchased in the hope of a better life. Has it worked? Have you lost the weight? Have you reached your goal, whatever it is?

There is also a whole market based on making money out of creating and maintaining bad habits - ask any cigarette or junk food manufacturer, or any casino or shopping mall owner. 

But if dishing out money isn't the solution to getting rid of bad habits, what is? To find an answer to that, we must first identify our most common mistake.

When tackling our bad habits, we tend to focus on the future: in the future I will get rid of this habit. Beginning tomorrow, or January first, or when I turn forty, I will (fill in the blank):

• eat healthy
• exercise daily
• stop smoking
• stop drinking
• consume less caffeine
• go to bed earlier
• only buy what I need
• save money/get out of debt
• get rid of a tic (e.g. biting nails)
• control my temper
• invest in good relationships
• get organized 
• stop procrastinating
• get started on that book I want to write
• meditate daily
• ditch video games
• spend less time on social media

After trying to implement change, and seeing that it failed, as it unfortunately most often does, we move to the next step: we try again. It usually fails again. A quick look at the statistics for smoking cessation or weight loss and maintenance will illustrate that clearly. 

Trying and trying might (if we're lucky) take us closer to our goal, it still doesn't tackle the root of the problem, which is: 

Why did we make that bad habit in the first place? 

There is always a reason. Our bad habits don't fall from the sky randomly - they serve a purpose. As long as the purpose is there, our bad habits will thrive. At best we will replace a bad habit with another. But we cannot hope to free ourselves from bad habits as long as we don't stop and think about their origins.

Before we even look at HOW we can change our life, we need to ask ourselves WHY we are not living the life we want to live, WHY we are not reaching our goals, WHY we keep self-sabotaging.

Before we look at the future, we must first determine what, in our past, contributed to the formation of the bad habit, and what, in our present, helps crystallize it, day after day:

What happened in my past that led me to adopt this habit? 

What happens on a daily basis right before I engage in the behavior?

Mindfulness this Week


When I find myself engaging (or about to engage) in a habit I am trying to get rid of, I will ask myself what preceded it:

What happened right before I engaged in the bad habit? What was going on? How was I feeling?

Is this a common pattern for me?

What, in my past, might be the source of this pattern?

Tell us what you come up with.

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Mindfulness - Meditation

Moyan Brenn, Flickr

"In practicing meditation, we're not trying to live up 

to some kind of ideal - quite the opposite. 

We're just being with our experience, whatever it is."

(Pema Chodron)

Practicing mindfulness, welcoming awareness, slowing down, finding stillness... all prepare you for the practice of meditation.

Imagine a simple, free habit that brings about clarity, focus, lowered levels of stress, and an improved physical health - those are all proven benefits of meditation. 

Meditation is only one letter away from medication and in some cases, it has at least as much power, minus the side effects.

Meditation is a tool that makes it possible, or at least easier, to be in the moment, centered, grounded, which in turn helps you feel and tackle life with more lucidity and serenity. 

Meditation is almost magical in that it allows you to experience a rare luxury, the pause between two thoughts (usually referred to as "the gap"). For most of us with minds working overtime, this constitutes a welcome break.

All that with the bonus of the occasional "epiphany" or blissful moment.

More importantly, meditation is accessible to all.

Contrary to what Madeleine Somerville thinks, meditation is not akin to "sleeping upright". In the beginning, especially, meditating can actually feel like a lot of work. Sitting still, allowing sensations to arise and welcoming them without any judgement, letting your thoughts drift instead of holding on to them, isn't something we are used to do. It's uncomfortable.

The body resists: you feel tense, restless, itchy. You readjust your position many times.

The mind resists: no matter how much you try to just "let them drift away", your thoughts come back circling over your head, insistent, discursive. You might also feel drowsy, which can be another way for your mind to resist the peaceful alertness of meditation.

It takes time. Getting the most out of meditation is similar to getting the most out of a healthy diet or an active lifestyle: it requires dedication and consistency. 

Eventually, the discomfort diminishes and makes way for the wonderful benefits of meditation. 

The daily recommendation for beginners is to meditate for twenty minutes. You might dislike the idea that "nothing gets done" during those twenty minutes or so. But I think that a lot gets done during the time spent in stillness. I even like to say that everything gets done during meditation, since it sets the tone for the rest of your day.

Will you try it?


Mindfulness this Week

This week, you could sit for a few minutes every day, close your eyes, and see what happens.

For more on meditation, click here.  

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Mindfulness - Slow Down

smlp, Flickr

"One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress." 
(Viggo Mortensen)

We have been paying more attention to our lives, and noticing our internal state as well as the external circumstances, whenever possible. We have made interesting discoveries (go back to the previous posts for some examples, both in the text and in the comments). 

Despite those efforts to apply a mindful attitude to our daily life, I am willing to bet that in most circumstances, most of us are still operating on auto-pilot. We are oblivious to many of our own feelings and sensations. We react more than we act, based on past experiences, habitual patterns, and assumptions about what constitutes the right way to live our life. If we stay on this path, no significant progress can be made. We will continue to feel tense, frustrated, inadequate, guilty.

Time to deepen our awareness.

But why "waste our time on awareness", some will think, when there are more urgent matters to take care of? Our lives are unsatisfactory (and, for many, rather hectic). We don't want to use our precious time for reflection. We want results. It's understandable.

The truth is, no real awareness, and thus no true change, is possible without first slowing down. It's hard to see clearly when your mind and body are rushing. A while ago, I had this conversation with D: 

Me: I feel like I'm running all the time, without making any progress
D: You must be running in the wrong direction

Those sage words left me pensive. Running in the wrong direction sounds like a deplorable waste of time and energy, doesn't it? I have a feeling it is precisely what most of us are doing. But how can we really tell unless we first slow down?

I will admit that slowing down is hard, especially in a society like ours. Being busy and/or rushed is worn like a badge of honor. Don't we feel somewhat suspicious of people who don't have much to do? Don't we look down on them? Even if it was out of envy?

Add to that the speed technology has gotten us used to (the speed at which images change on TV and in movies, the speed at which we access information and each other), and it's no wonder our minds and bodies feel so frantic. I have stopped counting the number of friends and family members who have told me that "yoga is too slow" for them, let alone meditation. I don't think it's an idiosyncrasy; I think it's a reflection of our society's hasty pace. It takes time to get used to go slow.

"But I don't have time to slow down", many will say. I get that. Believe me, I do. I work full-time on top of trying to kick start my freelance writing business and training for races; I have two kids, three pets, a house and a big yard. If you asked me how often I feel on top of things, I would reply without hesitation: "never". But I have also noticed that rushing made no significant difference. Worse, it sometimes creates additional problems.

Driving fast, for example, will save you one or two minutes at best, but will raise your stress level and put you more at risk for accidents. The same applies to most daily activities: eating fast, talking fast, brushing your teeth fast... it doesn't really give you more time, but more importantly, it's stressful for your mind and body. What happens when you rush all day? Eventually, you collapse. You collapse on your couch each night, bag of chips in hand, and mindlessly surf the channels until bed time. You collapse mentally and can't focus at work or can't handle daily stresses (e.g. your kids drive you crazy). A burnout is around the corner. You collapse physically and get ill. 

Here's my long-distance runner piece of advice: pace yourself so you can last. When you slow down, you don't accomplish less. In fact, you may very well accomplish more; by doing things at a realistic pace and paying attention to what's going on, you don't get to the exhausted state (mentally, physically), which in turn means that you don't need to "compensate" with your usual addictions, whatever they are (eating, drinking, smoking, shopping, gaming, etc.)

In addition, most things benefit from being done slower:

• eat slower, drink slower (so you know when you're full)
• talk slower (so you have time to think it over; also, listen more)
• read slower (so that ideas make their way to your mind)
• walk slower (so you notice the beauty around you)
• make love slower (so you enjoy it better)
• etc.

If speed was what matters the most, we wouldn't take the time to sip on coffee. We would pop a caffeine pill and go on with our day. 

How does this apply to other aspects of your life?

Mindfulness this Week

This week, do something slower. It doesn't matter what it is. Pick something and systematically do it slower, with more awareness. Tell us how it felt!

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