Mindfulness: Overwhelmed

"If you have ever spent any time around seriously ambitious people, you know that they are very often some of the unhappiest crazies alive, forever rooting around for more, having a hard time with basics like breathing and eating and sleeping, forever trying to cover some hysterical imagined nakedness." (Elisa Albert)

Why do so many of us who were lucky enough to be born in the right place, at the right time, and who subsequently have the privilege of not needing to worry about their survival and primary needs, still manage to feel overwhelmed? Why are we struggling with the basics? In a true minimalist approach, and in full mindful mode, I think we ought to clear the slate and deliberately pick what deserves to make it into our lives, and what doesn't. What is necessary, and what isn't. For example:


1) Necessary: to live in a place that's salubrious 
    Unnecessary: to live in a place that's spotless, endlessly noticing and fixing any departure from perfect orderliness and cleanliness.   

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


2) Necessary: to live in pleasant surroundings
    Unnecessary: to improve, renovate and decorate as if your house had to make it into a home decor magazine. (I will admit that I genuinely admire some of my friends' houses' interior design, but I will also admit that I don't have it in me to invest the time, energy and money it requires. Plus, with a house that looks "ok", I feel pretty relaxed having children and pets around, which is an underrated form of freedom.)

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.

3) Necessary: to have good hygiene habits
    Unnecessary: to scrub and disinfect like you have been dipped in biohazardous substances. (Granted, some body parts require more attention. But probably not as much as you think. Even sweat is nothing more than saltwater.) 

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


4) Necessary: to look nicely put together (that is, provided your job demands it, which is not even always the case)
     Unnecessary: to spend hours shopping for and putting on clothes, makeup, hair products. (We waste our precious time "overgrooming", then feel entitled to complain that we don't have enough time.)

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


5) Necessary: to eat healthy
     Unnecessary: to avoid unhealthy foods like the plague, and to follow fads that have no foundation in science. (Instead, aim to eat healthy, plant-based, unprocessed food most of the time, and indulge occasionally - in small portions.)

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


6) Necessary: to be physically active
     Unnecessary: to look as ripped as a professional body builder. To be in a good enough shape to climb the Everest on a week's notice. To participate in organized team sports (this applies to children and teenagers, too).

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


7) Necessary: to sleep enough
    Unnecessary: to sleep in, or nap endlessly past your 8ish hour requirements.

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.

8) Necessary: to nurture important relationships
    Unnecessary: to spend hours on social media, to call your mother every single day, or to have friends/family over for supper every single weekend. Great, solid relationships will thrive on less... no need to overdo this "connection" thing!

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


9) Necessary: to fit in - we humans are social creatures and need a supportive circle
    Unnecessary: to try and please or impress everyone. (We do it in more ways than we are willing to admit to ourselves.)

Do so if you wish, but only if it adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


10) Necessary: to make a living (and to self-actualize)
       Unnecessary: to work long hours, gain as much prestige and make as much money as possible.

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


11) Necessary: a certain amount of pleasure and distractions
       Unnecessary: to constantly pursue pleasure and entertainment. (Sometimes - often, alone time and quietness is just what the doctor ordered. What are you trying to cover under all that stimulation?)

Do so if you wish, but only if it adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


12) Necessary: to know what's going on in the world (Because I vote. And raise children. And teach. And want to make the world a better place, one tiny step at a time.)
       Unnecessary: to read each and every article that I put my hands on, to watch the news many times a day.

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


A subsidiary question is "Why do I feel like I need to do those things when in fact I don't?" Peer pressure? Advertisement and the media? An unhealthy ego?

Mindfulness this Week

What other example would you add to the list?

Which one poses the biggest challenge in your life?

What strategies have you used to go back to the essential?

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Mindfulness - The real problem with time

Nick J Webb, Flickr

"If we worship money, we'll never feel truly abundant. 

If we worship power, recognition, and fame, we'll never feel we have enough. And if we live our lives madly rushing around, trying to find and save time, 

we'll always find ourselves living in a time famine, frazzled and stressed." 

(Ariana Huffington)

Do you find yourself rummaging for time, desperately trying to go through your to-do list, always tired, always frustrated?

I know I do. A few months ago, I even tried to create a detailed weekly plan that would incorporate everything I want (or need) to do; paid work, household chores, quality time with loved ones, running, swimming, going to the gym, practicing the guitar, writing articles for an increasing number of publications. To my great despair, and no matter how I tried to move things around, it simply didn't fit - especially given the fact that I wanted the supreme luxury of also sleeping 8 hours per night. 

There is nothing original about my quest for hours, nor is there with my ongoing frustration with the unfinished state of so many of my ventures: as a working parent of the new millenium, I am in good company.

Not content to simply accept this state of affairs, I decided to dig deeper: Why do we feel so pressed for time while living in comfort and privilege? Does it have to be that way? How can we create for ourselves a schedule that has a more organic pace, while still reaching at least some of our goals?

The more I researched the topic, and the more I experimented with my use of time (this summer, for example, was the first in many years that I did not create a long to-do list for myself), the more I realized that the real problem is not time. Our stressed out and frustrated state originates from a few other factors:

Expectations

Simply put, many of us tend to underestimate the time it will take to do something. I am definitely guilty of that. The first step toward regaining control over our use of time might be to actually set aside enough time to accomplish the things we want to accomplish. If, like me, you also struggle to remain focused on the task at hand (I can barely empty a dishwasher without researching something on Google halfway through), you may want to plan even more time. Which takes us to the next factor: 

Attention

No matter how much time you spend on a task, if you are not focused on it, you are not making progress. It doesn't matter if you are distracted by others (external interruptions) or by yourself (daydreaming, multitasking). A block of time devoted to something must indeed be devoted to it! How to accomplish that? Monotask. Take the necessary steps to avoid being disrupted (There is a sign on my home office door that reads "Keep calm and do not disturb - I am working"). And plan regular breaks.

Energy

Time is a finite resource. Energy is not. So what really matters is not how much we work, but how we use our energy. One of the main lessons I have learned from running is to pace myself. That could mean going slower than what comes "naturally", or taking a break before you think you need one. This, I realized, applies to any sort of activity: physical, intellectual, even emotional.

If I try to go too fast, or if I fail to rest when I need it, then I end up being way less efficient, which wastes my time. When we do that on a regular basis, a common consequence is to engage in "numbing activities" to compensate for the unpleasantness - this is how so many of us end up over eating, drinking, shopping, staring at a screen for hours, etc. I'm not okay with wasting my time numbing pain and discomfort with bad habits that most likely have side effects. Instead, I am coming to terms with "unproductive" activity (sleeping, daydreaming, reading, listening to music)  that provides me with rest or pleasure.

Priorities

"Most people are living at such a furious pace that they rarely stop to ask themselves what they stand for and who they want to be. As a consequence, they let external demands dictate their actions." (Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy) 

I stopped counting the number of times I heard time-starved moms - myself included - apologize for not baking/cooking the dish they were bringing to a party, or for not welcoming their guests into an immaculate house... as if getting something from the grocery store and living in a house that looks, well, lived-in, was a venial sin of some sort. To avoid the guilt - and the ensuing apology - a lot of us will try to cram such extra demands into a schedule that is already bursting at the seams. Enough already! Do those things really matter that much?

Like a teacher sets end goals, then breaks them down in small, incremental steps for her students, we should set life goals, determine the intermediate steps, and ensure that our time is indeed devoted to those goals on a daily basis. Any activity that does not lead to the fulfillment of those main goals can be tossed aside. 

Unfortunately, it is very easy to confuse our own personal goals with those that society imposes on us. Based on the current, mainstream definition of success, for example, I should be spending most of my time trying to impress others by 1) making sure I (and my family, and my house, etc.) look their best and "coolest" at all times, including on social media; 2) becoming famous (or making my kids famous, by extension); 3) making lots of money.

The problem is, those endeavors often prove exhausting, and may fail to provide the fulfillment we are looking for. I have written about how, when my translation business was at its height (and with it my income), I felt more fatigue, stress and frustration than any happiness I might have been looking for. I have since then decided to slow down on the career front, and I genuinely feel much better for it.

Meanwhile, other activities that seemed far less glamorous than a lucrative start-up, and which had fell through the cracks, regained importance in my eyes as I realized they actually fit some of my main priorities. Walking in nature and listening to the rain or birds, or spending time washing and cutting up veggies, seems rather banal and, again, unproductive. But when setting my priorities, eating (and feeding my family) healthy, and making sure I engage in peaceful, meditative activities on a daily basis, made it to the top 10 - meaning those activities should indeed be part of my daily life - even if that means sacrificing other activities. 

Less is more

The fear of missing out is a potent feeling, exacerbated by the plethora of choices modern life offers. Is it because my father passed away suddenly at 50, long before he could enjoy any bit of retirement, making it all so clear that the clock is ticking? I have felt an intense pressure to "make the most of life". When left unattended, that pressure can suck enjoyment out of life, which is the last thing we want to happen. I now know that what I need is not to do more things in general, but to strive and be in the moment, whatever I am doing (or not doing).

And so, counterintuitive as it may seem, in order to feel at peace with our use of time, we might need to do less, not more. To learn to sit or walk in silence, to stare into space, without guilt.

Which is exactly what I practiced this summer. There is no endless list of activities on my fridge, with little checkmarks all over it. This summer I took life day by day. Consequently, I spent more time on "unproductive" activities such as reading, chatting with friends and family, and even sleeping. It wasn't always comfortable, but I got used to that slower, more organic, pace. Interestingly, the top priorities still got done (e.g. repainting the decks, organizing the basement). Was this summer better or worse than the previous ones? Neither. But it was certainly less stressful. Will I have regrets? Probably not.

Mindfulness this Week

Have you changed your relationship with time?
How do you make sure you respect your pace, energy levels and priorities?
Do you find it hard to set realistic expectations, and to maintain your focus?

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Mindfulness - Perspective

 NancyNance, Flickr

When stuck in a rut, having a hard time experiencing gratitude, unable to find clear answers to our questions, confused about what should take priority in our lives, a simple change in perspective can help.

It struck me as I was sitting in a corner of the house I almost never "visit", on a chair I almost never use. From that standpoint, I had a completely different view of the room and of the garden outside the window. It wasn't anything I hadn't seen before, but the angle was new. It wasn't any better than my usual view, and it wasn't particularly exciting, but somehow it made me feel refreshed and serene.

Opportunities to "refresh and reframe" are everywhere if we are willing to get out of our comfort zone, or simply to slow down and notice. Trying something different and new can work wonders. So does taking the time to actually feel what is going on inside and outside of ourselves. For example, lately I have been allowing myself to stop and observe nature. If there is a pleasant sight, sound or smell, instead of going on with my day, I fully immerse myself in it, for as long as it takes to reach a state of inner joy.

In the past few weeks I had many other opportunities to reframe, ranging from the very mundane to the very distressing, and everything in between. For example:

• The various house and car problems I mentioned in my last post, which entailed both hassle and expenses.
• Being stuck on the tarmac for 2 hours waiting for the plane to be refuelled before take-off... and then experiencing a rather bumpy flight that left me with sweaty palms, numb fingertips and other manifestations of a fight or flight response.
• Learning about friends' financial and/or relationship and/or health-related problems.

All those issues helped me put other issues into perspective - suddenly it didn't matter so much if a huge pile of laundry was accumulating, or that I hadn't found the time to practice my guitar, or even that my career was kind of stalled. More urgent issues, or bigger problems, were happening around me, and all my attention was on them.

But the most important - and awakening - event was the passing of my maternal grandmother. Because she was old (98 years minus 2 days to be exact), one could assume that it was easy to accept. But it wasn't. As I said to a cousin who came to the funeral, "You're never ready to lose someone you love". It didn't matter how old she was - she was amazing, and I will miss her tremendously. 

This event forced me into a new perspective - when a loved one dies, what matters more than your sorrow? Other sources of negative emotions suddenly seemed so trivial. I had no time or energy to sweat the small stuff. What mattered was to be around friends and family, and to fully appreciate their presence. My grandmother would have approved of this reframing - if I had to list her best qualities, the number one would be her bright outlook on life. She found the positive in every situation, and got back on her feet after each setback.

I know that I will keep learning from her even if she isn't here anymore. Her unique perspective will stay with me and with everyone who had the chance to know her.

Mindfulness this Week

What event(s) have changed your perspective? Was it a good or a bad thing?

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Mindfulness - What if nobody cared?

Markus Spiske, Flickr

"Oh, you purchased a brand new Lexus? You’re a published author? 

Your job title is X and you earn six-figures? So what!" 

(The Minimalists)

In my quest toward authenticity, I have been pondering whether some decisions I make, and some actions I take, have more to do with what others expect of me than with what I, myself, want out of this life.

I can think of a few examples in my past:

• Hanging out with the "cool crowd" even if they are shallow, mean, or both (ah! the joys of Middle School);
• Trying to behave like a full-force extrovert when in fact I am more of a - friendly - introvert: I love to chat and make connections, but I prefer one on one or structured interactions (such as when I teach or give a talk) to big parties, and I need a lot of alone time;
• Trying to look "feminine" when in fact I have a slightly androgynous disposition: I feel like a clown in frills, dresses, heels, busy jewelry, heavy makeup, or complicated hairdos;
• Trying to go for a scientific career path when in fact I thrive in languages and humanities; in the same vein, making career choices based on prestige + earning potential when in fact my true calling (and a balanced lifestyle) resides somewhere else;
• Refraining from expressing certain opinions or feelings for fear that people would disagree or disapprove;
• Showing off my accomplishments or possessions;
• Generally trying to get people's approval and "impress" them, instead of just going for what feels good and feels right.

Indeed, my mindset used to be along the lines of "your accomplishments (and your looks) = your worth as a person". Not just any accomplishments, either. Mostly the ones that have to do with wealth and prestige. I had never questioned it until I met the future father of my children, who, despite earning the right to put Dr before his name and a string of letters after, never made any fuss about it, and barely ever mentioned his accomplishments. I was impressed, not so much by his credentials, but by his sincere humbleness.

Nowadays I strive to nurture my authentic self, even if that means less overall approval or admiration. I still value good manners, kindness, and personal hygiene, but other than that, I avoid worrying about "what will people think". When I do "show and tell", I do it to inspire, not to impress - which means I approach it in a very different manner, and for very different reasons.

So my question, today, is the following: 

If nobody's opinion ever mattered whatsoever, what would your life look like right now? What, about it, would be different?

Would you have the same job?
Would you live in the same place?
Would you hang out with the same people?
Would you date the same person?
Would you have the same hobbies?
Would you own the same objects?
Would you dress/talk/behave the same way?

Mindfulness this Week

What are you ready to change for the sake of authenticity?

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Mindfulness - Slow Down

smlp, Flickr

"One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress." 
(Viggo Mortensen)

We have been paying more attention to our lives, and noticing our internal state as well as the external circumstances, whenever possible. We have made interesting discoveries (go back to the previous posts for some examples, both in the text and in the comments). 

Despite those efforts to apply a mindful attitude to our daily life, I am willing to bet that in most circumstances, most of us are still operating on auto-pilot. We are oblivious to many of our own feelings and sensations. We react more than we act, based on past experiences, habitual patterns, and assumptions about what constitutes the right way to live our life. If we stay on this path, no significant progress can be made. We will continue to feel tense, frustrated, inadequate, guilty.

Time to deepen our awareness.

But why "waste our time on awareness", some will think, when there are more urgent matters to take care of? Our lives are unsatisfactory (and, for many, rather hectic). We don't want to use our precious time for reflection. We want results. It's understandable.

The truth is, no real awareness, and thus no true change, is possible without first slowing down. It's hard to see clearly when your mind and body are rushing. A while ago, I had this conversation with D: 

Me: I feel like I'm running all the time, without making any progress
D: You must be running in the wrong direction

Those sage words left me pensive. Running in the wrong direction sounds like a deplorable waste of time and energy, doesn't it? I have a feeling it is precisely what most of us are doing. But how can we really tell unless we first slow down?

I will admit that slowing down is hard, especially in a society like ours. Being busy and/or rushed is worn like a badge of honor. Don't we feel somewhat suspicious of people who don't have much to do? Don't we look down on them? Even if it was out of envy?

Add to that the speed technology has gotten us used to (the speed at which images change on TV and in movies, the speed at which we access information and each other), and it's no wonder our minds and bodies feel so frantic. I have stopped counting the number of friends and family members who have told me that "yoga is too slow" for them, let alone meditation. I don't think it's an idiosyncrasy; I think it's a reflection of our society's hasty pace. It takes time to get used to go slow.

"But I don't have time to slow down", many will say. I get that. Believe me, I do. I work full-time on top of trying to kick start my freelance writing business and training for races; I have two kids, three pets, a house and a big yard. If you asked me how often I feel on top of things, I would reply without hesitation: "never". But I have also noticed that rushing made no significant difference. Worse, it sometimes creates additional problems.

Driving fast, for example, will save you one or two minutes at best, but will raise your stress level and put you more at risk for accidents. The same applies to most daily activities: eating fast, talking fast, brushing your teeth fast... it doesn't really give you more time, but more importantly, it's stressful for your mind and body. What happens when you rush all day? Eventually, you collapse. You collapse on your couch each night, bag of chips in hand, and mindlessly surf the channels until bed time. You collapse mentally and can't focus at work or can't handle daily stresses (e.g. your kids drive you crazy). A burnout is around the corner. You collapse physically and get ill. 

Here's my long-distance runner piece of advice: pace yourself so you can last. When you slow down, you don't accomplish less. In fact, you may very well accomplish more; by doing things at a realistic pace and paying attention to what's going on, you don't get to the exhausted state (mentally, physically), which in turn means that you don't need to "compensate" with your usual addictions, whatever they are (eating, drinking, smoking, shopping, gaming, etc.)

In addition, most things benefit from being done slower:

• eat slower, drink slower (so you know when you're full)
• talk slower (so you have time to think it over; also, listen more)
• read slower (so that ideas make their way to your mind)
• walk slower (so you notice the beauty around you)
• make love slower (so you enjoy it better)
• etc.

If speed was what matters the most, we wouldn't take the time to sip on coffee. We would pop a caffeine pill and go on with our day. 

How does this apply to other aspects of your life?

Mindfulness this Week

This week, do something slower. It doesn't matter what it is. Pick something and systematically do it slower, with more awareness. Tell us how it felt!

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Mindfulness - Why?

BuzzFarmers, Flickr

''From a mindfulness point of view, 
we all have attention deficit disorder.'' 

(Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche)

Year after year, it's the same. We end the year reveling in excesses, we start the year making resolutions. Resolutions that, most often than not, will be reduced to distant memories just weeks into the new year - just look at how jam packed gyms become in January... only to quiet down by February. Even those of us who don't explicitly formulate resolutions could easily identify areas of their life where an improvement is called for, but fails to materialize.

This leaves us with two questions:

1) Why do so many of us feel the need to make resolutions?
    (Why do so many of us hope and plan to improve their lives?)

2) Why do so many of us fail at keeping those resolutions?
    (Why do so many of us fall short of implementing change?)

The reason we make resolutions is simple: Our life is not up to our expectations. We don't reach our goals. (Sometimes, we don't even know what our goals are.) We feel like we should have control over our existence, yet we keep steering it in the wrong direction, by making the wrong choices - big and small. We don't feel good about ourselves, or not often enough. Something is off. We want change. We want improvement.

The reason resolutions fail is more perplexing. We really do want to lose weight, stop smoking, spend less time in front of a screen and more time with our loved ones. We really do want to live a purposeful, fulfilling life in line with our values. We are full of great intentions.

The problem is one of mindfulness: we try to implement change but we fail to inspect our life genuinely to determine what, precisely, is at the bottom of our dissatisfactions and bad habits. Why exactly do we feel crummy? Why do we compensate with food, alcohol, shopping, or video games? 

This is where mindfulness comes into play. Mindfulness holds the key to a satisfying life that truly resembles us.  Embracing mindfulness might have a phenomenal impact on your life because it's been shown to make a difference in so many areas. For example, mindful eating would advantageously replace any diet. Implementing mindfulness in the workplace would significantly reduce stress, increase creativity and performance, improve interactions and decision-making, with the bonus of happiness and well-being.

Something tells me that mindfulness might be the ultimate resource and inspiration we need to tap into.

Mindfulness this Week

This week we will slowly acquaint ourselves with mindfulness. We will keep it very simple for now. Our only goal will be to pay more attention, to become more aware of what's going on. Every time we have a chance, we will ask ourselves: What is going on right now, outside of me and inside of me? We will welcome any answer that comes up. We will observe the sensations that emerge. There will be no judgement, no analysis, no further questions. We will simply state, for ourselves, how we feel this right moment... then we will continue with the rest of our day.

Let's begin right now. How do you feel at the moment? Take a moment to assess your internal state and the external situation. Then continue with the rest of your day.

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The Less is More Project: Week 48 - Consumer self-defense

Kanko, Flickr

Minimalist or not, all of us do have to go shopping at least once in a while, even if it was just for groceries.

This time of the year, most of us will multiply their purchases in preparation for the end of year holidays.

It might not feel like it, especially for those of us who spend a good amount of time in stores and have become pro shoppers, but as a consumer, and despite our illusion of choice, we are rather vulnerable. The smartest of us are at the mercy of numerous marketing tactics, each one more cunning than the last.

How do we fight back and avoid wasting our precious money on less than precious items? Let's be prepared.

Location, location, location: Know that you are more likely to buy items located at eye level, at the end of aisles, and by the checkout. Especially if they are colorful and/or sparkly. Do you need those items, or are you having the exact impulse that marketers are looking for? Did you come to the store with that item in mind? You might be better off leaving it there, and if it is still haunting you a month or two later, then go back and buy it. My strategy for those situations is that I usually shop equipped with a list, whether it's for food, clothes, presents, or anything else.

How much will you appreciate it once it's in your home? Objects have a lot of appeal when positioned strategically in a store, in their new, bright and shiny glow. They lose a lot of that appeal once in the house and after a couple uses.

Quantity: Bigger is not always better. What's the best value? If you're going to use a lot of something, bigger packages are often worth it. But not always. To compare accurately between the small, the medium and the big packages, you'll have to be good at mental math. Plus, sometimes, it's better to just go for the amount you can actually consume, instead of buying more just because it's a good deal... and ending up wasting half. (Or feeling like you have to finish it - this is particularly insidious when food is involved.)

Quality: Are brand names better than store brands? In some cases, yet. In some cases it makes no difference whatsoever. When it comes to clothes and outdoor gear, it's usually a good idea to go for quality... but that does not mean you have to buy new. Second hand, high quality items can last quite a while, and often look nicer than new, but low quality, items.

Is the price fair? Studies show that minorities pay more for the same products. For example, equivalent health/beauty products are significantly more expensive when they target women buyers. Women (and ethnic minorities) also end up paying more for the same car, among other things. Are you okay with that? What can you do to vote against this unfair practice?

Preparation: Processed foods come with a higher price tag than foods you will prepare and cook yourself. Would you pay someone $30 an hour to shred your cheese? Because that's the cost it comes to when you calculate the price difference.

How much of your effort is this worth? How many hours do you have to work in order to acquire this item? (Calculate using your net income, not your gross income). I know someone who uses that strategy whenever he sees something he likes: Is this something that's worth an hour, a day, or even a full week of my work?

Do you really want to spend that much? Marilyn Monroe might have sung Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend, I suspect that, as a group, diamond jewelry retailers embrace the saying more than women. Don't feel you have to spend an awful amount on the people you love. Or if you really can and want to spend, pick activities over objects, so that you can create memories together.

Does this item you are about to purchase agree with your ethical standards? Is it fair-trade or was it produced in a sweat shop by underpaid (and possibly underage) people? Does it contribute to intensive deforestation or pollution? Is it good for you? (if it contains added sugar, perfumes, dyes, or simply a lot of plastic, you might want to reconsider).

Remember that a good deal is only a good deal if you need the item, and that although sales are tempting, you will save 100% on any item if you don't buy it.

If you are lucky enough to have leftover money and aren't sure what to do with it, please consider donating it to a charity!

WEEK 48 IN REVIEW

All my holiday shopping is done - mostly a few presents for the kids. It was completed before Black Friday (I don't buy a thing on that specific day). I like to shop early because I know I make better choices when I have time ahead of me, as opposed to feeling rushed to buy something, anything. I also find it less stressful to shop when the stores aren't full (and the clerks aren't overwhelmed and tired). 

Speaking of stress, getting the house ready for the holidays also feels less stressful now that I have been decluttering for so long. Everything has a reason to be in the house, and everything is in its place. Cleaning around that is quick and easy.

Project 2016 is in the making! In the next few weeks, we will report on how 2015 went: struggles, successes, and lessons learned. We will then be ready for a new challenge! Stay tuned, and to make sure you don't miss anything...

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