Mindfulness: Overwhelmed

"If you have ever spent any time around seriously ambitious people, you know that they are very often some of the unhappiest crazies alive, forever rooting around for more, having a hard time with basics like breathing and eating and sleeping, forever trying to cover some hysterical imagined nakedness." (Elisa Albert)

Why do so many of us who were lucky enough to be born in the right place, at the right time, and who subsequently have the privilege of not needing to worry about their survival and primary needs, still manage to feel overwhelmed? Why are we struggling with the basics? In a true minimalist approach, and in full mindful mode, I think we ought to clear the slate and deliberately pick what deserves to make it into our lives, and what doesn't. What is necessary, and what isn't. For example:


1) Necessary: to live in a place that's salubrious 
    Unnecessary: to live in a place that's spotless, endlessly noticing and fixing any departure from perfect orderliness and cleanliness.   

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


2) Necessary: to live in pleasant surroundings
    Unnecessary: to improve, renovate and decorate as if your house had to make it into a home decor magazine. (I will admit that I genuinely admire some of my friends' houses' interior design, but I will also admit that I don't have it in me to invest the time, energy and money it requires. Plus, with a house that looks "ok", I feel pretty relaxed having children and pets around, which is an underrated form of freedom.)

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.

3) Necessary: to have good hygiene habits
    Unnecessary: to scrub and disinfect like you have been dipped in biohazardous substances. (Granted, some body parts require more attention. But probably not as much as you think. Even sweat is nothing more than saltwater.) 

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


4) Necessary: to look nicely put together (that is, provided your job demands it, which is not even always the case)
     Unnecessary: to spend hours shopping for and putting on clothes, makeup, hair products. (We waste our precious time "overgrooming", then feel entitled to complain that we don't have enough time.)

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


5) Necessary: to eat healthy
     Unnecessary: to avoid unhealthy foods like the plague, and to follow fads that have no foundation in science. (Instead, aim to eat healthy, plant-based, unprocessed food most of the time, and indulge occasionally - in small portions.)

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


6) Necessary: to be physically active
     Unnecessary: to look as ripped as a professional body builder. To be in a good enough shape to climb the Everest on a week's notice. To participate in organized team sports (this applies to children and teenagers, too).

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


7) Necessary: to sleep enough
    Unnecessary: to sleep in, or nap endlessly past your 8ish hour requirements.

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.

8) Necessary: to nurture important relationships
    Unnecessary: to spend hours on social media, to call your mother every single day, or to have friends/family over for supper every single weekend. Great, solid relationships will thrive on less... no need to overdo this "connection" thing!

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


9) Necessary: to fit in - we humans are social creatures and need a supportive circle
    Unnecessary: to try and please or impress everyone. (We do it in more ways than we are willing to admit to ourselves.)

Do so if you wish, but only if it adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


10) Necessary: to make a living (and to self-actualize)
       Unnecessary: to work long hours, gain as much prestige and make as much money as possible.

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


11) Necessary: a certain amount of pleasure and distractions
       Unnecessary: to constantly pursue pleasure and entertainment. (Sometimes - often, alone time and quietness is just what the doctor ordered. What are you trying to cover under all that stimulation?)

Do so if you wish, but only if it adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


12) Necessary: to know what's going on in the world (Because I vote. And raise children. And teach. And want to make the world a better place, one tiny step at a time.)
       Unnecessary: to read each and every article that I put my hands on, to watch the news many times a day.

Do so if you wish, but ask yourself if it really adds value to your life, and be aware that it will take time and energy away from other endeavors.


A subsidiary question is "Why do I feel like I need to do those things when in fact I don't?" Peer pressure? Advertisement and the media? An unhealthy ego?

Mindfulness this Week

What other example would you add to the list?

Which one poses the biggest challenge in your life?

What strategies have you used to go back to the essential?

Be part of the process: 

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The Less is More Project: Week 18 - How clean is too clean?

DanBrady, Flickr

Have you ever felt like by the time the house/car/garden is finally "clean enough", the day is done and it's time to go to bed? Worse, do you never really reach the point of "clean enough", no matter how hard you work?

This is yet another manifestation of our obsession with stuff: we want everything to be spotless. 

Decluttering is good, as is keeping relatively clean surroundings. Spending endless hours dusting, wiping, scrubbing and polishing? Not so good. 

In addition, there are a variety of things that do not need to be cleaned at any point in time; in those cases, cleaning can even be harmful. Random examples include power cleaning your driveway, removing fallen leaves from your lawn, wiping your baby's face in between each spoonful of puree, giving a bath to your cat, or using scented wipes on your genitals. Don't do it!

By no means do I consider myself a clean freak, yet I have pressured myself into making sure my house immaculate before I let anyone show up. I know it has sometimes gotten in the way of spontaneity: on a random Friday night, feeling like having some friends over, I will hesitate because I haven't had time to clean. Or I will get in a cleaning frenzy instead of relaxing while I wait for them to show up. Foolish of me. When your friends show up and exclaim "wow, your house is so clean", it might be a sign you overdid it (note to myself here).

Last summer, I became very resentful toward all the weeding work that kept me away from the beach. Eventually I went on a multi-week strike, left the flowerbeds to fend for themselves and allowed myself to fully enjoy the true pleasures of summer. I never regretted it, but I did feel the need to apologize for the state of my garden to impromptu visitors. Why?

When it's not us worrying about the state of our house and property, it's others: I have heard countless stories of well-intentioned parents and in-laws showing up and ending up cleaning their grown children's house while the latter would prefer just enjoying each other's presence. Offering help to young parents is definitely commendable, but it will probably make them feel like they have to join in the hard work when in fact they might simply want to chat with you.

Our obsession with cleanliness not only robs us of our precious time (and money, thanks to all those unnecessary cleaning products we feel compelled to buy, or thanks to the people we hire to do the work), it is also bad for our health and for the environment. The types of products we use and the frequency at which we use them deserves to be questioned. 


Some questions to ponder:

• Does cleaning get in the way of other more meaningful activities? For example, do you refrain from inviting friends over, from playing with you kids, from going on a little trip - or from resting - because the house or garden is not quite up to your standards?

• How often does one really need to wash their hair or their clothes (with the exception of underwear of course) if they do not show signs of dirt and in the absence of significant sweating?

• Are our bodies and houses so dirty that we need to use the strongest detergents, disinfectants and abrasives on them? Really? Or are we destroying our skin's protective oils and useful bacteria, and breathing toxic fumes?

• At what point do we cross the line between preventing common colds and minor odors and giving ourselves cancer?

• What impact does all that cleaning have on the environment? How much water and harmful products do we use, and how much trash do we create (e.g. disposable wipes and other such horrors)?

• Do you sometimes "cover up" problems with strong products instead of actually tackling the underlying issue? For example, do you keep swirling the mouthwash (a useless product) instead of seeing your dentist about that recurring bad breath?

• Do we want to be the "victims" of marketing, which creates a false need for cleaning and beauty products that we could in fact live without?

What is your relationship to cleaning?

For more on alternatives to "traditional cleaning", click here.

WEEK 18 IN REVIEW

Temptations

I succumbed! I bought one piece of clothing I did not really need. It was right next to the one piece of clothing I actually needed. In a moment of weakness, I took both. The price was good, it won't take up that much space, and I truly love it and will wear it a lot... but I still broke my rule, and I'm not proud to report it. I won't bring it back to the store, but I will make an extra effort to get rid of other clothes in an effort to "compensate". Lesson of the week: you can still have relapses five months into a new habit. Vigilance is essential!

What is your weakest area, and what do you do to prevent relapses?


Donations (good riddance)

On the bright side, I am very happy to report that I finally pulled up my sleeves and took care of the one room I was apprehensive about: my home office. Paper is the worst, when it comes to decluttering, because you need to look at every single sheet and read it to assess where it belongs. This is probably where the "touch it once" rule came from: if you file or discard your papers as soon as you receive them, they don't accumulate in piles everywhere! The office now looks like a place where organized thoughts can happen. And I can quickly access any document I need now that I know where everything is.

What room, cupboard or drawer are you tackling this week?


Observations and cogitations

This ongoing reflection on my consumption habits and their impact on my health and well-being, the environment and the economy has me question my intake of animal products. I have been a vegetarian in the past (although not at the moment). From an ethical perspective, being a vegan sounds even more appealing. But it all seems so complicated in a society that gives meat (and dairy) such an important place. 

Any advice?




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The Less is More project: Week 5 - Did you say baking soda?

PhotoAtelier, Flickr

This week has not been the greatest, as the whole family caught a rather virulent bug. On the bright side, I was not tempted to shop whatsoever. To be honest, I was not tempted to write either, but luckily, guest writer sj is here to save the day!

Always interested in exploring cheap, environmentally friendly ways to keep clean, I have been investigating some "natural cleaning products". My friend sj kindly guided me through the discovery of some convenient alternatives. Today, she will introduce us to...

... The Magic and Wonders of Baking Soda!

Simply put, baking soda, or sodium bicarbonate, is amazing. I am a proud baking soda addict. It never ceases to amaze me and I use it for everything - from deodorant to shampoo, and for all my household cleaning. Today, I am going to give you fine readers the inside on scoop on what is so wondrous about this versatile white powder. I will also delve into the industrial production of baking soda.

Cleaning Everything

Nothing cleans a bathtub (and sink, and floor, etc.) as effectively as baking soda - it cuts through soap scum and grim that you didn’t even realize was there. Your bathtub is supposed to be a glowing bright white, but if you’re not using baking soda, there is a good chance it’s closer to off-white, and you’ve come to believe it's normal. To help your bathtub release its true shine, just sprinkle baking soda on the dry bathtub and use a damp cloth to scrub. You’ll be amazed at what happens.

What’s even more amazing is what baking soda does to your armpits. Deodorant is my favorite use of baking soda. Applying dry baking soda powder on your underarms (with your fingers or a cosmetic brush) prevents all odor. You can add a couple drops of essential oil (lavender, for example) to your homemade deodorant jar. Using baking soda this way may make a little bit of a mess - you should do it over the sink or bathtub and you may end up with baking soda particles all down your side, but it is well worth it. Even after a hard run, there isn’t even a hint of odor. It is magical - and no questionable chemicals!

I also wash my hair with it, which is becoming a common trend. Just take a couple heaping table spoons or a handful and make a thick paste with water. Start massaging it into the roots of your hair - really give your head a good scrub and cover every inch of your scalp. After this nice brain massage, let it sit for about a minute and then rinse (using cooler water, which is better for your hair). Your hair may feel a bit funny while it is still wet, but it will dry clean and fantastic. I have been doing this for over three years - my hair became healthy, curlier, shinier and stronger. If your hair is long, you can use apple cider vinegar as “conditioner”.

Another useful tip: if you quickly apply a baking soda and water paste to a bee, hornet or wasp sting, the soda will neutralize the acid injected by the sting and stop all pain. It can even be used on canker sores and mouth ulcers. 

Sadly, brushing your teeth with baking soda is not so simple, as the powder is too abrasive for the tooth enamel. Other than that, I seriously believe baking soda is wonderful. I highly recommend you try it! Although, I have discovered a little bit of a dark side...

Mother Nature's take on it

As a self-proclaimed environmentalist, I am concerned with the production of goods, and unfortunately, the picture doesn’t stay as clean as I was hoping when it comes to baking soda. Most products have at least some impact on the environment, and baking soda is no exception. Please keep in mind, however, that baking soda is definitely not the “dirtiest” of available products.

To produce sodium bicarbonate, soda ash (its primary ingredient) must be acquired. In North America, soda ash is mined in the form of trona (a mineral). Trona is then mixed with water and carbon dioxide (great use of an abundant pollutant!) to make baking soda. Soda ash is also used to make many other products - glass, fiber glass, textiles, detergent and paper. It’s a pretty useful and widespread resource. The largest mine in the world is in Wyoming and produces 90% of America’s soda ash. There is such an abundance that this mine will not run out of trona for at least another 2000 years.

In regards to this information, there is nothing “wrong” specifically with the trona mining industry. However, trona mines do share the problems every mine has: mining and related processes release lots of pollutants into the atmosphere and generally cause environmental devastation to the surrounding area. The trona mine in Wyoming is a major contributor to air pollution in the state, and the mine does not monitor their emissions, which is cause for concern. 

But making baking soda is currently going through some positive and exciting changes! A new technology was put to test in 2014 - carbon dioxide emission from industrial factories can now be directly turned into baking soda. Let's hope this method takes over in the next couple years!

In conclusion

I believe baking soda is a much better choice than other cleaning and cosmetic products in terms of personal health, cost and simplicity, even if it's not perfect from an environmental point of view. Nothing really is, and at least is it made in North America, so it has a lower carbon footprint. The production of baking soda is still better than the production of more complicated cleaners, soaps, detergents, antiperspirants, etc., in which baking soda is just one ingredient. So, is baking soda a good sustainable choice or a lesser of evils? I am not sure, but I am still vouching for it, and I really think you should try it - and stock up before the apocalypse! (hehe)

sj

__________________________________________

WEEK 5 IN REVIEW

Temptations 

Very few temptations this week. Too sick. I did buy some Advil, and it was definitely a need. I also had to replace the ink cartridges in my printer. This is for work (hence a need), but I have decided to look more closely at my ink and paper consumption in the coming weeks.

Donations

Too sick to do any cleanup. I will catch up next week.

Observations

Because I was sick, I watched more TV than usual (which is not hard, as my usual is to not watch any TV at all). I am appalled at all the advertising. Apparently, your life will be wonderful if you make sure your appearance is flawless, your car shiny, and your food... unhealthy. Has your brain melted yet? Only a couple hours in front of the screen and I already feel like I've lost some IQ points. But maybe that's from being sick.

Cogitations

Are you tired of hearing me mention my sickness yet? I am. Which is why I will turn off the computer right now, and go get some rest.

What did you resist this week? Did you donate or get rid of anything? How did that make you feel? Please comment below! And...

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