The Less is More Project: Week 36 - She's got the looks

"If tomorrow women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business." (Dr. Gail Dines)

I just came back from what was probably the last camping trip of the year. Campgrounds are always a great place to reflect on minimalism. One morning, I found myself brushing my teeth next to a woman who used not one, not two, but three different electrical appliances to do her hair. She was getting started when I walked by on my way to the shower, was still busy perfecting her hair when I got out of the shower and stopped by the sinks, and was still working at it when I left. I was perplexed. Why would anyone want to spend so much time on their looks while camping in the woods?

I had had the same reflection while backpacking throughout Europe, some 15 years ago. I never understood why my fellow female backpackers spent so much time in front of the mirror each morning. Personally the only "cosmetics" I carried had to do with basic hygiene (toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, shampoo, soap), plus some sunscreen. On most days, I would detangle my hair then let it air dry until it was ready to put in a quick pony tail. I was preparing to visit museums and national parks, not for a walk on the runway!

I do not want to sound judgmental. In each of those instances, I mostly wondered what those women would do with their time and money if they knew that they actually look great "as is", and that they have the right to use their precious energy for more rewarding pursuits than a perfect complexion and hairdo. Most women complain that they are tired and lack time (including time to actually have fun). What would they do if they simplified their beauty routine?

But it's not my place to comment on individual choices and priorities. Freedom makes the fabric of a healthy society. This is a free country, and we all make our own, unique, informed choices on what we use our time and money on.

Or do we? When we choose to spend as much time and energy as most women (and an increasing number of men) spend on their looks, are we basing that choice on individual preferences? Or have we been pressured into it? Pressured into thinking we need certain things (and "interventions")?

A couple times in my life when I put on more makeup than usual, and asked my partner about the result, I was told that "it does not make a huge difference". If several dollars and several minutes do not make me significantly prettier, you can bet I won't waste any more of my time and money!

I just wish I had known earlier. In my teens, influenced like many of my peers by the "female audience media", I had come to think that 1) my looks were deeply inadequate (compared to photo shopped supermodels, which were the reference), and 2) I needed a full cupboard of products to even hope looking good enough. Which is preposterous. I looked absolutely fine! And most products failed to deliver anyway. E.g. if you have fine hair (my case), nothing will give you a thick mane. You can pretend but it won't be the same. Just embrace what nature gave you. 

Marketing orients our choices more than we think. Do we use free will when we take out our wallet? Think again. We are manipulated like puppets by advertisement, and that is when lobbying efforts don't stop the products we might have wanted from becoming widespread. Here is one recent example (click here).  

We need to open our eyes, put on our critical thinking glasses, and realize that "what you see is not what you need". During that same camping weekend, for example, our friend S commented on other campers packing too much stuff: "There's no way someone can eat all that, wear all that, and use all that". Words of wisdom.

Another problem is that when you downgrade based on your true needs and values, there comes a point when you fall out of the "mainstream", and potentially end up feeling marginalized. Sometimes it will just be an imprecise feeling of "being different". For the longest time I was the only one of my friends who did not even wear a smidgen of mascara. Nowadays we are the only family in one big neighborhood to own "only" one car, "only" one TV set (which I personally barely use), and no garage. 

Sometimes, others will openly underline your weirdness: in his latest post, Rob Greenfield recommends getting rid of 10 things (that most people probably don't feel they can live without), to which a commenter responded that he's beginning to sound like a Hare Krishna. (Admittedly, it could be a compliment.)

As Anne Wilson Schaef put it wisely: 

"I have constantly been told that I am crazy by my society when I put forth my clearest, sanest, most precious perceptions. Now I accept that I am "crazy" in the eyes of an insane society, and I feel very "sane" with my "craziness". Watch out for who is defining "crazy". Maybe it's time for us to give up trying to be as crazy as our surroundings and be the clear, sane [people] we are."


WEEK 36 IN REVIEW

I am beginning to wonder if I will need a new challenge for the last 4 months of the year. Getting rid of stuff and not buying has become an automatism and I am getting slightly bored. I still want to write about minimalism, but maybe I could try and apply it to something else than stuff? Any ideas?



Your turn to share about your struggles and victories of the week! What did you resist? Did you donate or get rid of anything? Did you face any challenge? Please comment below! And...

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The Less is More Project: Week 9 - What I have learned in 2 months

kern.justin, Flickr

"Simplicity is not about deprivation. Simplicity is about greater appreciation for things that really matter." (Becoming Minimalist)


As it was to be expected, in the midst of a lot of enthusiasm, this project has also generated a little bit of healthy skepticism. Some readers have questioned the whys, the hows, and the scope of this project. 

I am fine with that reaction. Such a project is bound to provoke debate! You will elicit similar reactions if you become a vegetarian, train for a marathon, or make any other uncommon choice. (Click here for a food and fitness-related example.)

In addition to referring you back to my first post of the project, which offers some insight as to why I embarked on it in the first place (click here), today I want to revisit the various reasons why people are drawn to minimalism: 


Clutter: feeling overwhelmed by the amount and/or size of the stuff we own, including real estate, vehicles, and objects of all types

Debt: (self-explanatory)

Social/environmental awareness: the realization that our day to day lifestyle has a significant, harmful impact on both the planet in general and its inhabitants in particular

Lack of purpose/meaningfulness: feeling that our life is a whirlwind of acquiring money (through work) and spending money (through shopping and entertainment) without much consideration for what really "speaks" to us, such as relationships we cherish and hobbies we are passionate about

Stress: created by some or all of the above


In my case, the main reason I embarked on this project was to develop mindfulness and intentionality. I wanted to regain full consciousness of what I spend my time, energy, space and money on. I wanted to determine whether it fits my values and priorities and whether it is conducive to my (and others') well-being. 

I do not want to be the automaton of consumerism.

If the planet was doing just fine, and if all humans were treated fairly, I would still embark on this project.

If I had all the space in the world, I would still embark on this project. (As of now I am realizing that my house is indeed too big for my needs, and offers too much storage.)

If I was extremely wealthy, I would still embark on this project. Saving money, as I have said before, is NOT the main goal of this project. (Interestingly, some well-intentioned readers have been kindly suggesting ways for me to acquire stuff at a good price. I appreciate, and thank you, but this is not why I'm doing it.)

It is once I had more that I became interested in having less. 

Sometimes you have to fulfill the "material dream" to realize its absurdity:

• I have noticed that accumulating stuff does not make me happier (it actually can make me LESS happy).
• I have noticed that the high I get from acquiring stuff does not last.
• I have noticed that I am perfectly content with very little (in situations such as wilderness camping, for example).
• I have noticed that sometimes, I'd rather work a little bit less, have a little bit less money... and gain a little bit more time instead.
• I have realized that we cannot keep on blaming "others" for the state of the planet: each of us has to make some changes. We are not big companies. But we can vote with our wallet, and force big companies to revisit their approaches.

I don't think my approach quite qualifies as ascetic. I still own way more than one outfit, one bowl and one cot. I still value pleasure (and, in some instances, I still want to indulge in luxury). For the most part, I think I am an adept of Epicureanism in its most classical sense: I want to avoid pain and emotional disturbance; the pursuit of pleasure is fine as long as it respects the criterion of moderation.

When you allow yourself treats in moderation, you avoid potential noxious side effects (think overspending, overeating, overdrinking and the like) and you maximize the enjoyment (occasional treats are more enjoyable that constant, mindless indulgences). 

As a dietitian once told me: there is nothing wrong with having chocolate ice cream once in a while. But if you are going to do it, make sure you fully appreciate it: sit down, take your time, focus on the taste and texture. Do nothing else. Give it your full attention.

I have a feeling that too often, we are on autopilot: we consume things that don't really provide us with significant enjoyment. If we become aware of that, we will be able to refocus our resources (again, in time, energy, space and money) on the things that we truly, highly enjoy, while cutting down on the things that don't make such a positive difference in our lives.

WEEK 9 IN REVIEW


Temptations

Saturday morning, I get a phone call. It's D. He's been running some errands, has some extra time ahead of him before R's next basketball game, and wants to know if there's anything else I need. "I don't think so", I say. "I already gave you my little list" (which consisted of a receipt book for my business, and a new phone because ours, after years of loyal service, just died). I am pretty sure we don't need anything else. Yet I hesitate. Here I am trying to come up with something we might "need". Enough already! We don't need anything at all.


Donations (good riddance)

Have you seen the link to "Let's Play a Minimalism Game" I posted on HappinessSavouredHot' Facebook page? If you are a "beginner", this is a superb ideas by The Minimalists to get you started on decluttering. The idea is to get rid of one item on the first of the month, two items on the second, three items on the third, and so on. March is a great month to go for it as it has 31 days!!! If you follow the plan, by the end of this month you should be 496 items lighter (or an average of 16 discarded items per day). Scary? For sure. Useful? You bet.

This week I got rid of:

a very old T-shirt, a couple of pens that don't work, a dozen of small toys that my kids don't use, and another pile of books.


Observations

Turns out that baking soda is indeed a panacea! I was already using it to clean the house, but had yet to use it on myself. I tried it as an alternative to shampoo, deodorant and body scrub. Verdict: it works as a charm. I particularly like it as shampoo because it leaves my hair shinier and easier to comb than regular shampoo (I use a pea-size amount of conditioner and it suffices). Try it!


Cogitations

I was thinking about my post on houses. I kind of idealize smaller houses, but there is one big limitation: I really want my kids to each have their own bedroom - especially now that they are both in their preteen years. If you have any experience or insight on this, please share! 

What did you resist this week? Did you donate or get rid of anything? Did you face any challenge? Please comment below! And...

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The Less is More project: Week 6 - The case of clothes

Jason Hargrove, Flickr

In Not Buying It - My Year Without Shopping, one of the first things the author, Judith Levine, falls for (hence breaking her rules) is a pair of high-tech, high-priced socks. Turns out clothes are a common vice, even for those who endeavour to buy less. I am no exception, as you will discover in today's confessions.

In 1993, after my first summer of working regular hours (as opposed to occasional babysitting), I indulged and bought myself a $140 sweater (around $200 in today's dollars). I remember my friend K's stunned reaction : "You really are going to spend that much on one piece of clothing?" My response was somewhere in the vicinity of "I love it, and I have the money, so why not?"

This was only the beginning of my relationship to fashion. 

In fact, it wasn't really the beginning at all. Years before, as I had entered - private - middle school, and influenced by my peers' take on fashion, I started insisting on my parents only buying me brand/designer clothes. Certain stores were to be avoided at all costs - I couldn't fathom being seen in "cheap clothes". The ideal article of clothing, in my young teenager's mind, featured a tiny embroidered horse or crocodile.

I was a total preppy... and proud of it.

I was also becoming dangerously snob. 

In the years that were to follow, I would often be found reading women's magazines, which in no way helped the situation, as you can imagine. I don't even think I had that good of a taste in fashion, to be honest - everything I wore was rather plain - but I definitely was looking for quality, tag, and price (the higher the better!)

Later on, when I had children, they became an extension of my fashion persona. Living in Montreal, I was surrounded by parents who treated their kids as a fashion statement. It just seemed like the thing to do. Drool and overflowing diapers were not to get in the way of looking fabulous. And all the children's clothes boutiques! How could I resist. We went shopping often.

Nowadays, living in the countryside (in the woods would be more accurate), and consuming significantly less media in general, I feel less pressure to look my best. Fashionistas do not abound here, and the ones who do have a sense of style promptly change into more comfortable clothes the moment they get back from work. Whenever I've gone to the playground wearing anything else but jeans and a t-shirt, I was greeted with a "Wow! You're all dressed up! Anything special going on today?"

I am not, however, completely cured of my "fashion addiction". As I discovered long-distance running and also started going to the gym on a regular basis, a new problem emerged: I became obsessed with workout clothes. I currently devote one very big drawer to them, and it is overflowing: I had to find some space in my closet for the thicker, cold weather running pieces. I could literally work out every day for two weeks without having to wash anything. Yet sport clothes still have an irresistible appeal - it is torture for me to not buy any new pieces. Why, oh why?

Perhaps it's because we don't, in affluent societies, relate to clothing as a basic need. Fashion is, by definition, the ultimate example of planned obsolescence. Trends are ephemeral. Following them is a status statement in itself. You are not buying clothes to fulfill a basic need (a couple season-appropriate pieces would suffice for that), but rather, you are buying clothes "because you can". You wear them not to cover your body, but to express your personality, your values,  your belonging to a certain group, your taste, and, in more cases than we think, your wealth - it takes money to replace your clothes before they even start wearing out.

In 1932's Scarface movie, Tony Camonte rejoices about being able to wear "a new shirt every day". Based on how common "wearing a new shirt every day" has become, one has to wonder what constitutes a need when it comes to clothing.

What's the problem with wanting to look good, you might ask. Well, there are a couple. For one thing, the creation of apparel has quite a significant impact on the environment. As Juliet Schor reminds us in True Wealth, "it requires 2000 liters of water to produce one T-shirt and 8000 for a pair of leather shoes". That's just one example. And what about the social side of the question? Heard of the sweatshops lately? The conditions in which the garments we wear are created are often unacceptable from an ethical standpoint (click here for more info). Do we want to support that?

To borrow the words of Mark Boyle in The Moneyless Man: "Most of us don't have the faintest idea that our daily shopping habits are so destructive".

To relieve some of my guilt, I have become an adept of thrift and consignment stores. If you have the time and patience, they truly are fun places to go, with the added bonus of being kind to your wallet. The next step, obviously, is to buy less clothes altogether. No new piece of clothing will enter my - already too full - wardrobe in 2015, but I need a plan for the following years.

Project 333 comes to mind. Have you heard of it? Its goal is to simplify your wardrobe to the point of using only 33 items over the course of 3 months. Interested? Click here.

In the weeks to come, I am also going to keep track of the clothes I do wear, vs the ones I don't wear. 

If you have any other tricks and strategies, please share!

WEEK 6 IN REVIEW

Temptations 

After the fourth big snow storm in 2 weeks, I have to admit I felt tempted to buy a snow blower. Luckily, we live in a close-knit community: 3 lovely neighbors came to our rescue on the worst of above mentioned storms. (Since the garden is buried under feet of snow, preventing me to offer homegrown foods in exchange, I paid them back in doughnuts.)

Donations

Nothing this week, but I have a feeling clothes are going to be tackled soon.


Observations

I realized that owning less is a great way to avoid purchasing things you don't need. This house is full of rolls of tape (scotch tape, masking tape, duct tape), and the reason is that I kept buying more because I had misplaced the ones I already had. Now that I am decluttering I rediscover a whole collection. No need to buy any tape in the years to come!


Cogitations

This post on fashion in general and clothes in particular is throwing me out of my comfort zone. I can resist a lot of stuff, but clothes belong to a different category. Not buying any might be one of my biggest challenges this year. I also feel like I should take inventory of the clothes I own, but I am scared of the results. Not too long ago, I noticed I own 5 pairs of winter boots. I still see a use for each of them. This is going to be hard...

What did you resist this week? Did you donate or get rid of anything? How did that make you feel? Please comment below! And...

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